Ran into a number of you over the past week and a theme began to emerge. When I asked how your sons were enjoying HS lacrosse, “frustrated” was the word I heard most often. With few exceptions, “too little playing time” was the root cause. Unsaid but I’m guessing some conversations at home are focusing on whether to go out for lacrosse next year, let alone play this summer. Susan and I as you know, can empathize. Coop’s story has been told too many times so I wont bore you again.
next time you get really anger, check this out: is the anger triggered by repressed sadness over something that occurred in the past?
2:58 PM (18 hours ago)
This was supposed to go out last week, but I got a little distracted with the birth of my daughter! Mom and baby are doing great and I appreciate the well wishes. I already have her slated in for Hill Lacrosse class of 2030—unfortunately she will not have a choice in the matter.
As I have mentioned a number of times, the summer is really a time to set yourself apart. Every college program will expect you to show up in shape and at The Hill we will expect the same. Also, you cannot overlook the importance of keeping your mind fresh and prepared for academic workload that will come in September.
Print out the attached documents and if you commit to following the program, you will experience progress. If you have any questions in regards to the workout out plan, you can contact Coach Noble directly. firstname.lastname@example.org
For Hill Alumni, commit to continuous improvement!
Recommending Reading: All returning lacrosse students are required to read one of the following books and provide a one page summary.
The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle
Mind Gym by Gary Mack
RAFA by Rafa Nadal
Coming Back Stronger (a must read if coming back from an injury) by Drew Brees
The Heart and the Fist: The education of a humanitarian and the making of a Navy Seal by Eric Greitens
40K View Download
|American Athletic Institute Research Shows Alcohol’s Effect on Athletic Performance.pdf
38K View Download
40K View Download
|Hill Lacrosse Shooting and Wall Ball Plan.docx
14K View Download
|Phase 1 of Hill Lacrosse Summer Workout Progam.pdf
58K View Download
mic, you took an extra step to greatness at the Lax-in-Nati Lacrosse Tournament. You came to the rescue of someone when they needed a helping hand. Good on ya! It was the right thing to do. You were approachable and while a little unsure because it was a new situation, you suited back up and went to help another team that was a player down due to an injury. sometimes, when you go the extra mile you are rewarded. you got moved up to that higher level team
you are on a 2-lane highway. the speed limit is 65 mph. there’s a driver poking along in the left lane, the high speed lane, the passing lane. we roll up behind them as we are going our normal 9 mph over the speed limit. the program is to pass the slower cars and then signal and move back over into the right lane. this driver is just poking along between 60-65 mph. we end up having to pass on the right. as we pull alongside and look left at the cat behind the wheel, i’m always wondering do you know better but just want to piss people off? or are you just clueless. either way, this is probably the #1 thing in life that consistently gets under my skin.
misdemeanor counts of simple battery and cruelty to children
To capture what we should keep, start and stop ?…. Start, stop and keep doing so you and max are in a position to say you guys did a great job, I’ll take it from here.
This is kinda a debrief with coop.
you guys have all learned to tell us the truth the first time. through consequences, you discovered the consequences are far more severe than simply telling the truth the first time when asked. Or better yet, getting out in front of it before the question is asked. heck, i loved it the other day when michael found me and said,
"dad, can i tell you something without you getting upset?"
"I was practicing my shot and it hit pipe and the ball broke the barn window."
I appreciated the honesty, taking responsibility and telling me before I found out myself. We all know how I would have reacted to the "surprise" seeing a broken anything and no one stepping up to task the "R" (responsibility).
Next step is you calling the window repair guys (Coop has the number..ha ha) to schedule them to come out, repair it and you paying for it out of your savings, not investment, piggy bank.
At UNH, I engaged in some under-age drinking (stupid), over served myself (ignorant of BAC) and ended up vandalizing a fraternity's alumni tent (I ran and tried to swing around the pole that held up tent and broke it in two). I was seen running down the street with 20 pissed Phi Delts chasing me. They gang tackled me and one guy cocked his arm back with a clenched fist to clock me. Why another brother said "No, don't hit him" I'll never know. Why the guy decided to listen who knows.This cornered freshman rat sobered up fast and took responsibility. I apologized and promised I would fix it just as soon as I went back to my dorm and got my roommates tools. End of story? I fixed the tent and they asked me to pledge their fraternity! Man up, tell the truth, make no excuses and fix your mistake fast. The truth will set you free.
Coops code of conduct violation and meeting with coach brink.
last night at blossom, radiohead further endeared themselves to their hardcore audience. most bands come back for one or two encores. after a vigorous performance, they came back for four encores. go the extra mile. under promise, over deliver, wow people and earn fans for life! thom yorke and his bandmates added an extra touch by consistently acknowledging and thanking the crowd for coming out to see them.
its not an accident. all of this is part of the plan and built into the system. just ask Zappos. these smart people are the technicians and artists of the exceptional customer service experience. yet, its not an “act”. sincerity can’t be faked for that long. Radiohead, Zappos, Patagonia, Skyline Chili, Coach Paul at University of Michigan and the guys at Midwest Lacrosse….they all care, go out of their way to show it and their efforts are exponentially rewarded.
Cleve and lax power
Great lax state
Kick starter….how lacrosse changed my life video
And make the adjustments. Don’t wait until its perfect
Hill School (Ont.) postgrad defenseman Cooper Charlton grew up in an Ohio State-dominated area in the Northeast portion of Ohio, but he picked the Wolverines over the Buckeyes:
“It came down to OSU and Michigan,” Charlton said. “I liked Michigan because it’s a program that’s just starting. But my biggest focus was academics. I like Michigan’s academic program better.”
A big shout out to Susan Terkel. In a chance meeting she shared her story and a couple key books that helped put me on a new path at the same time as she guided my hand in writing this book.
More on that later.
When I started writing this book, I hated most parts of me, not my charmed life. My marriage and my relationship with my wife was rock solid and fulfilling. I am in awe of her ability to gracefully juggle the family calendar for 3 boys, herself and myself while tending to,her relaionships with her mom and dad, my parents, her sister and brother, her sister-in-law and all of her childhood and college friends, not to metion all the women ins her EO spousal forum. My relationships with my 3 sons were all healthy and joyful. Personally, I was pretty dark on myself. I had aches. Pains. low energy. Not tipping the scales like a worlds biggest loser contestant but for me 30 pounds over weight was just another big symptom of a life coming off the rails. Low sex drive (which for my busy, harried wife and mother of 3 boys wasn’t a source of too much spousal angst!) Tingles in my right arm. Spikes of pain in my chest. Headaches. Adult onset allergies. Mild Depression. Blood work ups show elevated cholesterol, blood sugars and….no exercise. Back surgery that didnt correct the problem. Siatic nerve issues. Numb toes. High blood pressure. Hypertension. No exercise. No walking, no spinning, no fruits, no vegetables, no water.
Daily habits: Wake. Put a pinch between my cheek and gums. McDonalds #2 with medium coke every morning. A large coke with oatmeal raisin cookie, bag of chips and 6 inch tuna fish at lunch. Snacks when I get home. Double servings of whatever Susan cooks for dinner. Bowl of Graeters ice creame. Chew. Sleep. Repeat.
Yet since I was 19 and mowing lawns for the City of Hudson, on and off (mostly on) I have chewed tabacco. All day long. First thing when I wake. Last thing before I fall asleep.
I laugh when Coopers friends who chew say they’re not addicted. “It’s just a hobby”.
I ran into one dad and on a dare at age 14, he tried it. 30 years later he’s still chewing even though he doesn’t want to.
Another dad has elevated his relationship with chew this way: “This is the only thing in my life as a husband, dad and owner of a company that’s all mine. I don’t have to share it with anyone.”
I go through 2 cans of snuff or chew a day. I’ve tried to kick many times. Why so difficult? I quit cold turkey drinking years ago after a good 25 year run. No relapse. One and done. Yet chew comtinues ro get my butt and I do t ant to chew anymore.
First time at 27 on my honeymoon. Figured they wouldn’t have an Kodiak on St. Barts. I was right. I was also screwed going cold turkey and spent most morning curld up with cramps and sweats and headaches that incapacitated me to the point that for most of the honey moon I couldn’t get out of bed for hours as Susan walked the beach and waited for me to come out of it. 72 hours of withdrawals.
Cleveland Clinic and Doc E. this is 19 years shabits he first of many attempts and island fever. He asks what I’m addicted to. When I say chew he gets a sad look. He explains he and I would have had a much easier time if I was addicted to just about anything other than chewing tabacco. Coke. Weed. Smack. Pain pills. Alcohol. He tries to cheer me up by saying it’ll be easier than meth and bath salts.
Professionally and profitably I’m not setting the world on fire either. 2 lawsuits, weak sales, losing money, bigger, better funded competitors, a leveraged buyout crafted in the more heady days of 2005 that now with a company half it’s size in a sketchy economy that has us underwater most month with no working capital to bridge the gaps between cash in and cash out. Chapter 11?
While Susan and my boys say I’m much more patient, fun and approachable at home, inside it’s everything I can do to hold it together and not snap.
The Docs and the shrink say if I don’t make some healthy changes, I’ll closeout my midlife crisis fat, sick and dead.
Back to Susan Terkle. Power of Habit, Larry Terkles “Meditation” and chewing gum. 8 weeks to optimum health. That’s the plan I’ll work as I write this book for my 3 sons.
I wanted all the aches and pains to go away. I wanted to clean up my diet. I wanted to be healthy and greatly lessen the risk of stroke and heart attack and cancer. I wanted to run a profitable business.
Cooper told his mom and me when we hugged goodbye in Toronto for his PG year, “you guys did a great job, I’ll take it from here.” I want to make sure we remember exactly what we need to keep, start and stop doing so Michael and Max can be in a position to say the same things when they leave the nest and head for their PG year or college.
While I write this book for my boys, it will keep me ever mindful of the joy they bring to my life and will help me dedicate myself to diagnose the cue, the routine and the reward of my chew addiction so I can gain power over it.
I’m going to work on changing just one thing. One habit. I will stop chewing tobacco. I will focus on changing this one “keystone habit”. By focusing on this one pattern, like Charles Durhigg in his book “The Power of Habit” I hope to gain power over it and set in motion a cascade effect that will empower me to reprogram the other unheathly routines in my life.
remember when you all annoyed each other so much? day in and night out there was an endless loop of fights, tears, name calling and timeouts. for some reason this just drove me up the wall. especially the older brother rising to the occasion to prevent it.
conscious decision to say this versus “be good”. kids like to do the opposite what their parents say. opposite of wise is stupid.
are you stupid or ignorant? do you know better but do it anyways or do you just not know any better?
why create a habit loop by calling your kid “shy” when they cling to your leg and hide from one of your friends. “oh, she’s just shy”. how many times does that child hears that and acts that when out in public before it gets mapped in the form of neurological patterns (aka, habits). the kid at some point is gonna have to “erase” those tapes and record over them with new, more positive habits (aka, neurological patterns)
story: getting bullied
strategy: use humor. came up with stories and one liners at home. we didn’t helicopter or make calls to their parents.
tool: when they called you names like whale for your huskerdoo frame, or farlton, you said is that the best you got? ive heard that for years. why not be more original? or focus on your own issues. your mom says you still wear diapers and wet the bed.
lessons learned: own the insult, be self deprecating and then zing the bully back with something humorous to poke at something real or conjured thats embarrassing for him. you guys were encouraged, forced, enabled to take responsibility for yourselves. act like a victim and you’ll be treated like a victim. nowhere did you hear us encouraging you to use your fists, unless you were physically threatened.
my take: kids are mean. the shame that binds them makes them want to pick on the others seemingly less OK or weaker. humor sill set you free.
- mat wilson
- brodie merrill
- peter merrill
- patrick merrill
- tory merrill
- skip flanagan
- britt flanagan
- david osborne
- sarah osborne
- steve carlson
- bill welsh
- craig waters
- coach john paul
- aj auld
- brian wilch
- tim mueller
- sue bunn
- susan and andy young
- john tobin
- tom tobin
- katie coulton
- katie, natalie and ? krum
- andrew meldrum
- mrs van
- mrs sams
- HHS teachers
- athena diamantis
- john elffers
- coach david blue
- coach brink
- officer brouchard
- steve ator and bacon peanut butter samich
- quint kesnick
possible dedication material
there’s a guy at work who doesnt eat lunch, ever. but he sure does appreciate being asked if he wants anything when the rest of us order takeout (like some of those delicious subs from Primo’s Deli – Akron’s Best). we always ask. he always takes a pass. he always thanks us for asking. and he always has a smile on his face afterwards.
even if you know someone can’t attend your party, play in a pick up fiddlestick game or already has a ride to the DMB concert at Blossom, its always a nice thing to ask anyways. they will usually say “thanks for asking” and you’ve just put a smile on their face for thinking of them.
create sense of urgency, crisis. draw reader in. how will it end?
Lesson 1: Definiteness of Purpose
Definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement. Without a purpose and a plan, people drift aimlessly through life.
Lesson 2: Mastermind Alliance
The Mastermind principle consists of an alliance of two or more minds working in perfect harmony for the attainment of a common definite objective. Success does not come without the cooperation of others.
Lesson 3: Applied Faith
Faith is a state of mind through which your aims, desires, plans and purposes may be translated into their physical or financial equivalent.
Lesson 4: Going the Extra Mile
Going the extra mile is the action of rendering more and better service than that for which you are presently paid. When you go the extra mile, the Law of Compensation comes into play.
Lesson 5: Pleasing Personality
Personality is the sum total of one’s mental, spiritual and physical traits and habits that distinguish one from all others. It is the factor that determines whether one is liked or disliked by others.
Lesson 6: Personal Initiative
Personal initiative is the power that inspires the completion of that which one begins. It is the power that starts all action. No person is free until he learns to do his own thinking and gains the courage to act on his own.
Lesson 7: Positive Mental Attitude
Positive mental attitude is the right mental attitude in all circumstances. Success attracts more success while failure attracts more failure.
Lesson 8: Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm is faith in action. It is the intense emotion known as burning desire. It comes from within, although it radiates outwardly in the expression of one’s voice and countenance.
Lesson 9: Self-Discipline
Self-discipline begins with the mastery of thought. If you do not control your thoughts, you cannot control your needs. Self-discipline calls for a balancing of the emotions of your heart with the reasoning faculty of your head.
Lesson 10: Accurate Thinking
The power of thought is the most dangerous or the most beneficial power available to man, depending on how it is used.
Lesson 11: Controlled Attention
Controlled attention leads to mastery in any type of human endeavor, because it enables one to focus the powers of his mind upon the attainment of a definite objective and to keep it so directed at will.
Lesson 12: Teamwork
Teamwork is harmonious cooperation that is willing, voluntary and free. Whenever the spirit of teamwork is the dominating influence in business or industry, success is inevitable. Harmonious cooperation is a priceless asset that you can acquire in proportion to your giving.
Lesson 13: Adversity & Defeat
Individual success usually is in exact proportion of the scope of the defeat the individual has experienced and mastered. Many so-called failures represent only a temporary defeat that may prove to be a blessing in disguise.
Lesson 14: Creative Vision
Creative vision is developed by the free and fearless use of one’s imagination. It is not a miraculous quality with which one is gifted or is not gifted at birth.
Lesson 15: Health
Sound health begins with a sound health consciousness, just as financial success begins with a prosperity consciousness.
Lesson 16: Budgeting Time & Money
Time and money are precious resources, and few people striving for success ever believe they possess either one in excess.
Lesson 17: Habits
Developing and establishing positive habits leads to peace of mind, health and financial security. You are where you are because of your established habits and thoughts and deeds.
Read Rich Man, Poor Man the story of Napoleon Hill.
* When narrowing down your schools, have a few schools in each category (dream/reach school, great school, safety/fall-back school), this way you are safe all the way through the process.
* When you e-mail or write a coach about your interest, make sure you include your home address, email, cell number and home phone number, as well as what your cumulative GPA is. (Be sure to give the most accurate GPA, do not estimate or round up because this will give a false assessment of your academic ability.)
* If you decided to take an unofficial visit with your parents on campus or a coach comes to your home, let the player do most of the talking and answer the questions, not the mother or father. Remember first impressions mean everything!!
* When you play in tournaments where you know there will be a lot of college coaches, make sure that your coach has given the tournament directors the correct numbers and names of the players so the college coaches know who they are evaluating. You want the college coach to be evaluating you and not someone else because of an incorrect roster. When you arrive at the tournament check the roster to make sure you are represented properly (jersey number, address, age, year in school, etc….). It is also a good idea to let coaches know where/when you will be playing.
* Be pro-active in finding out about a school, and don’t believe what your friends say or what you read on the Internet. Your recruiting process will be different from everyone else so don’t follow others lead; it could lead you down a dead end.
* When a coach calls you, ask questions to the coach that you think are important and don’t freeze when it comes time to ask them. Everyone has different dreams and needs and sometimes you go to a place as a freshman and it’s not what you expected. This often not the coaches fault, but rather the recruits for not doing all their homework on the school.
* If you decide to send a coach a highlight video, of you playing, make sure you send an entire game as well. The perfect video is a short highlight of your ability coupled with a full game tape. Make sure the video is of high quality and your jersey number is clearly seen. Make sure you list your number and jersey color on the DVD or VHS tape.
* Make sure to send your player profile (bio sheet) and a cover letter to college coaches so that they can reference your academic and athletic information easily. Your player profile will allow the coach to determine whether you fit in academically and your cover letter shows that you are proactive and interested in their lacrosse program.
* When you are competing in front of college coaches, you are being evaluated on a lot more than how skilled you are as a lacrosse player. Your attitude, how you treat your teammates, how hard you play and how you adapt to adversity are as equally as important as anything else. Always play hard because you never know who is watching you.
* When you decide to take an official visit to a school. Remember that you are not only evaluating the school you are visiting, but also the coaches, the players and the program. Also, the current players are evaluating you yourself. Be a stand up person and carry yourself in a way that is respectful and courteous to those around you. No matter how good a player you are, if the players and coaches don’t like you, they will stop showing interest in you.
* Remember NCAA D-I, D-II and D-III are all distinctively different when it comes to recruiting rules and procedures. Make sure to visit the NCAA website (www.ncaa.org) to read up on rules and regulations for each division.
NCAA Division I Men’s Lacrosse Recruiting Calendar
NCAA Division I Men’s Lacrosse Recruiting Calendar
September 1, 2011 – August 3, 2012
(See NCAA Division I Bylaw 30.10.5 for men’s lacrosse calendar formula)
The dates in this calendar reflect the application of Bylaw 30.11 at the time of publication but are subject to change per Constitution 126.96.36.199 or if certain dates (e.g., National Letter of Intent signing dates) are altered.
September 1 through October 31 –Contact/No Lacrosse Evaluation Period
November 1-25 — Contact Period, except November 10-13 — Dead Period
November 26-30 — Dead Period
December 1-23 — Quiet Period
December 24 – January 4 — Dead Period
January 5-19 — Contact/No Lacrosse Evaluation Period
January 20 – February 28 — Quiet Period
March 1 – May 21 — Contact Period
May 22 – 26 — Dead Period
May 26 through August 3 — Contact Period
Contact. A contact occurs any time a coach has any face-to-face contact with you or your parents off the college’s campus and says more than hello. A contact also occurs if a coach has any contact with you or your parents at your high school or any location where you are competing or practicing.
Contact period. During this time, a college coach may have in-person contact with you and/or your parents on or off the college’s campus. The coach may also watch you play or visit your high school. You and your parents may visit a college campus and the coach may write and telephone you during this period.
Dead period. The college coach may not have any in-person contact with you or your parents at any time in the dead period. The coach may write and telephone you or your parents during this time.
Evaluation. An evaluation is an activity by a coach to evaluate your academic or athletics ability. This would include visiting your high school or watching you practice or compete.
Evaluation period. The college coach may watch you play or visit your high school, but cannot have any in-person conversations with you or your parents off the college’s campus. You and your parents can visit a college campus during this period. A coach may write and telephone you or your parents during this time.
Official visit. Any visit to a college campus by you and your parents paid for by the college. The college may pay the following expenses:
*Your transportation to and from the college;
*Room and meals (three per day) while you are visiting the college; and
*Reasonable entertainment expenses, including three complimentary admissions to a home athletics contest.
*Before a college may invite you on an official visit, you will have to provide the college with a copy of your high school transcript (Division I only) and SAT, ACT or PLAN score.
Prospective student-athlete. You become a “prospective student-athlete” when:
*You start ninth-grade classes; or
*Before your ninth-grade year, a college gives you, your relatives or your friends any financial aid or other benefits that the college does not provide to students generally.
Quiet period. The college coach may not have any in-person contact with you or your parents off the college’s campus. The coach may not watch you play or visit your high school during this period. You and your parents may visit a college campus during this time. A coach may write or telephone you or your parents during this time.
Unofficial visit. Any visit by you and your parents to a college campus paid for by you or your parents. The only expense you may receive from the college is three complimentary admissions to a home athletics contest. You may make as many unofficial visits as you like and may take those visits at any time. The only time you cannot talk with a coach during an unofficial visit is during a dead period.
Questions to Ask Potential College Coaches:
1. What positions will I play on your team? It is not always obvious. Most coaches want to be flexible, so you might not receive a definite answer.
2. What other players may be competing at the same position? The response could give you an idea of when you can expect to be a starter.
3. Will I be redshirted my first year? The school’s policy on redshirting may impact you both athletically and academically. (D-I)
4. What expectations do you have for training and conditioning? This will reveal the institution’s commitment to a training and conditioning program.
5. How would you best describe your coaching style? Every coach has a particular style that involves different motivational techniques and discipline. You need to know if a coach’s teaching style matches your learning style.
6. When does the head coach’s contract end? How long does the coach intend to stay? The answer could be helpful. Do not make any assumptions about how long a coach will be at a school. If the coach leaves, does this change your mind about the school/program?
7. What are preferred, invited and uninvited walk-on situations? How many do you expect to compete? How many earn a scholarship? Situations vary from school to school.
8. Who else are you recruiting for my position? Coaches may consider other student-athletes for every position.
9. Is medical insurance required for my participation? Is it provided by the college? You may be required to provide proof of insurance.
10. If I am seriously injured while competing, who is responsible for my medical expenses? Different colleges have different policies.
11. What happens if I want to transfer to another school? You may not transfer without the permission of your current school’s athletics administration. Ask how often coaches grant this privilege and ask for an example of a situation in which permission was not granted.
12. What other factors should I consider when choosing a college? Be realistic about your athletics ability and the type of athletics experience you would enjoy. Some student-athletes want to be part of a particular athletics program, even if that means little or no playing time. Other considerations include coaching staff and style. Of course, the ideal is to choose a college or university that will provide you with both the educational and athletics opportunities you want.
1. How good is the department in my major? How many students are in the department? What credentials do faculty members hold? What are graduates of the program doing after school?
2. What percentage of players on scholarship graduate? The response will suggest the school’s commitment to academics. You might want to ask two follow-up questions:
(1) What percentage of incoming students eventually graduate?
(2) What is the current team’s grade-point average?
3. What academic support programs are available to student-athletes? Look for a college that will help you become a better student.
4. If I have a diagnosed and documented disability, what kind of academic services are available? Special academic services may help you achieve your academic goals.
5. How many credit hours should I take in season and out of season? It is important to determine how many credit hours are required for your degree and what pace you will follow to obtain that degree.
6. Are there restrictions in scheduling classes around practice? NCAA rules prevent you from missing class for practice.
7. Is summer school available? If I need to take summer school, will it be paid for by the college? You may need to take summer school to meet academic and/or graduation requirements.
1. What is a typical day for a student-athlete? The answer will give you a good idea of how much time is spent in class, practice, study and travel. It also will give you a good indication of what coaches expect.
2. What are the residence halls like? The response should give you a hint of how comfortable you would be in your room, in study areas, in community bathrooms and at the laundry facilities. Also ask about the number of students in a room, co-ed dorms and the rules governing life in the residence halls.
3. Must student-athletes live on campus? If “yes,” ask about exceptions.
This final, regular season email was supposed to be another long,
boring 2,000 word treatise on the lax landscape our boys will travel
in the coming years. Snoozefest. Even I’m weary of me! Ha ha. Instead,
lets live a little more in the present. What do wise men say?
Yesterday is history and tomorrows a mystery?
Courtesy of Maureen Silverman and approved by Connor and his Dad,
Brent, I have been given permission to share something much more
meaningful. Below is the email Connors Mom sent earlier this week. Dig
a little bit deeper, and the gifts of this great sport will reveal
We have seen some special things this season. One very special truth
we came away with is this: Moms and Dads, each of you have raised fine
young sons. From the first day of practice to Sundays last game and
everyday in between, your boys have consistently displayed remarkable
character and compassion. As I mentioned in an earlier email, the
coaches have never seen a group of boys who care so much about each
other. By the end of this email the who, what, why, where, when and
how will manifest themselves. Even then, I find it tough to figure out
exactly who’s gift this is.
Thank you Maureen and Brent. And thank you Connor for your smile, your
willingness to share and your depth of character to take ownership of
the fact that you have overcome so many obstacles. You are an amazing
person, you are an inspiration and we are blessed that you have come
into our lives.
One Love, Rastamon!
The 1st time I emailed John, explaining Connor’s auditory processing
issue, the response has been amazing and accepting. The last 8 weeks
have been some of the most important and defining of Connor’s life. He
is a kid that was born so early he wasn’t suppose to live. After 5
months in the NICU, he came home and hasn’t stopped amazing us, or
smiling, since. As his 2nd grade teacher said, “Connor has never had a
bad day.” Of course I like to say it’s his Irish feistiness!
Our attitude with Connor has always been to treat him as normally as
possible, and make no exceptions. I never wanted to baby him, or
coddle him. Ok, I did-but that’s not the right thing for him.
Fast forward 12 years and he says he wants to play Lacrosse. My
brother is a LAX Coach in Chicago and says, “I don’t know-sometimes
it’s too physical, he may not like it.” My husband doesn’t know
either. But I sign him up and we go up to All Star, I buy all the
gear, and then some-and off he goes.
The 1st practice I watch with my heart in my throat. He’s last during
drills. Way last. My eyes start to water. But he gets in the car, and
says, “that was great!” “my Coaches are awesome.” His sisters tell
him he looks like a Gladiator in his equipment. Suddenly it’s Lacrosse
talk in this house ALL Spring. He starts showing his sisters the
things he is learning. (they play too) ONLY Lacrosse shorts are worn
to school. The backyard now has a bounce back net. At some point
during those weeks, when I looked for him during drills, it took
awhile to find him. Why? Because he was mixed in with the pack. He was
I drop him a bit early to a practice a few weeks ago, and as he gets
out of the car, there are 6 boys standing there. I’m thinking to
myself, “Are they nice to him?” and then I hear “hey Connor/Hi Connor,
hey Connor let’s pass”. Little do these boys, or their parents know, I
drove away with tears again, and the biggest smile you have ever seen.
It’s those things that mean so much when you spend ALOT of time
worried about your son, both academically and socially. And the game
with the Goal, I will remember FOREVER. Even my daughters “got” why I
was so happy.
To hear him rave about the coaches and the kids on his team has been
so great. I have a daughter in 5th and last week Blake Lori yells down
the hall, “hey Caroline-your brother Connor is awesome!” How amazing
You all have given him an unbelievable confidence. An unbelievable
sense of team and belonging. I know you guys are going to go on and
coach kids with some great talent. Maybe their parents will be
obsessed with fair playing time, going to the Columbus tournament,
etc. But not us. We know our son is a gift, and the fact he was on
YOUR team was also a gift. And through the years we have met some
people who shock us with their character and compassion. People we
will never forget. You are all now on that list. Please forward this
to the other Coaches and tell them how much they changed a kids life,
and how grateful we are. Thank you SO much for more than just a great
season of LAX. Maureen
and other lessons learned by a dad, husband, brother, son, lacrosse coach and entrepreneur
But your teammmates and you will be tested together, fight together and meet challenges head on together in settings few friends ever encounter. It is conceivable to have an even deeper and stronger bond with a teammate than your circle of friends as you lead your charmed life off the field.
First, traveling with my dad was always a blast. Take advantage of the great food ( zingerman’s deli, There are so many great restaurants, but Zingerman’s Deli is a great organic deli. One of a kind. Although the town is riddled with diamonds in the rough. Take advantage of the time, environment, people and food. Switch up “DJ” responsibility with the music on the road trip, good fun.
Second, those are all great questions for admissions, tour guides, coaches and students you meet there. Brainstorm everything you want to know, write some things down. You want to have a go to line or sentence that lets people know what your looking for. Mine was; “I’m looking for a school that fits me academically, socially and athletically.” Have goals to help get you to where you want to go.
Third. Emails, emails, emails! Even of you don’t get a response, send emails! Coaches get over 1000s of them a week. Michigan never responded to any of my emails, but when I met coach Broschart for the first time he said he appreciated all of them! Can you send me link to highlight and website? GRADES ARE KEY, MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OFRECRUITING.
Third continued: Yes, AJ is right, you want to communicate directly. Multiple reasons: Chans personality is his biggest attribute! He’s a great kid and thats what they are looking for, recruiting for character. Talking to the coach moves you up on the radar, regardless if you are a player or not. It allows Chan to ask questions and get to know the coach. A two way interview. You don’t want to spend four years playing for someone you don’t respect, look up to or get along with. Ask questions, laugh, have fun with it and start to build a relationship. Even if the school isn’t for you, you’ve made a contact and they are sure to tell other coaches about you. ( They all talk about everyone! What you say to one coach, guarantee twenty others hear it ). Not to scare you/him but Now and “down the road” are quite similar. It moves fast, so make it a habit of checking emails, making calls and staying positive. Also, make sure Chan is in charge here. You’re great dad and love your kid but you don’t want to be “that parent” who tries to hard. Teamwork on this, but he has to be the one sending emails and making calls.
Who are Chan’s top school? Make a list of fall back schools, fit schools and reach schools. Add 3-5 schools in each category and go from there. Be honest with it and do the research, it is about the feel of the ALL AROUND school, not just the honeys and the lax field.
Kodak Man 1: ‘So have you figured out a way to work the wheel in? Kodak Man 2: ‘We know it’s hard, because wheels aren’t really seen as exciting technology, even though they are the original’. Don Draper: ‘Well, technology is a glittering lure, but there’s the rare occasion when the public can be engaged on a level beyond flash. If they have a sentimental bond with the product. My first job, I was in-house at a fur company. This old-pro copywriter, Greek, named Teddy. And Teddy told me the most important idea in advertising is ‘new’. Creates an itch. Put your product in there as a kind of calamine lotion. We also talked about a deeper bond with the product. Nostalgia. It’s delicate, but potent…
… Teddy told me that in Greek, nostalgia literally means the pain from an old wound. It’s a twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn’t a space ship, it’s a time machine. It goes backwards and forwards. It takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It’s not called the wheel. It’s called the carousel. It lets us travel the way a child travels. Round and round and back home again. To a place where we know we are loved.’
A family feels like an archipelago, separate but part of a whole, and always drifting slowly apart
Single most importsnt way people discover new…..social feature to really transform purchasing behavior
Hill Lacrosse “Non-Negotiables” On the field: -Hill attackmen ride through the mid-line. -Hill wings box out on face-offs. -Hill attackmen run out shots! -Hill midfielders do not pressure the ball in defensive transition; get into the paint. -Hill players sprint off the field on substitutions. -Hill players look at the ref and plant your feet off of change of possessions. -Hill defensemen do not get beat off a stick-check. -Hill players do not get beat off ball when a pole is on the ball. -Hill players do not question the ref. Let the coaches inquire about calls. -Hill players do not “talk trash” to their opponent. -Hill players do not make a flat-footed pass. -Hill players do not slam their stick or swear after a mistake. -Hill players do not question Hill coaches during a game or practice. -Hill players care about team success. -Hill players are players not coaches. -Hill players know the playbook and terminology. -Hill players are “whistle ready” on change of possessions. -Hill players focus on the ball in loose ball scrums. -Hill players do not commit “push from behind” possession calls. -Hill players echo calls! -Hill players lead by example. -Hill players like assisted goals. -Hill players do not point the finger. -Hill players know the difference between being hurt and injured. No self diagnosis. -Hill players do not complain; we embrace adversity. -Hill players look out for one another. -Hill players are continuously trying to improve. Off the field: -Hill players are polite and respectful. -Hill players are committed to being great students. -Hill players dress in full uniform, equipment. -Hill players look professional. -Hill jerseys never touch the ground. -Hill players do not drink pop, or eat junk on the road or at school. -Hill players do not eat fast food and are committed to eating healthy. -Hill players are clean-shaven for road trips. -Hill players play appropriate movies on the road. -Hill players respect their parents. -Hill players are committed to continuous improvement in the weightroom. -Hill players leave visiting locker rooms spotless. -Hill players put the nets away and collect the ball after every practice. -Hill players open the door for other people. -Hill players clean the bus, no matter how late we get home! -Hill players are committed to academics and act professionally in the classroom. “Success is Uncommon, therefore not to be enjoyed by the Common man”
Look at this notebook as a tool box or golf bag. For better or worse these are some of the tools mom and I have used thus far to raise a family of boys who are 11, 14 and 18. we set up the tool box first with stuff that worked for us as kids. We left out some tools that didn’t. Then thru trial and error, reading lots of books, going to some seminars and talking with other parents added some more tools and upgraded others. Many times we used the wrong club and hit a bad shot that left both parent and kid in a worse position. Often we went to bed so frustrated; mainly at ourselves if we were honest about it. Sometimes we went to bed thinking it wasn’t pretty but we got the job done. And on some days, they didn’t happen every week or month; but on somedays, one parenting situation went so well, so effortlessly it was magic. Seeing you overcome challenges, try something new and learn a lesson or realize and say this family is awesome, score a goal, start homework and studying early vs last minute, make a sweet pass, box out or score a goal or just have a cool conversation at dinner.
boys we love this game.
Chin Ups 3 x 10
Push Ups 3 x 20
Jump Squat 3 x10
Body weight Squat 3 x 20
Alternating Lunge 3 x 10 each leg
Rotational Inverted Row 3 x 10
Plank Row 3 x 5 per side
25 yard shuttle 3 x 3 (there and back is 1)
dont bother with the revised edition just released adding the context of a digital age. read dale carnegie’s original
It’s oct 13, 2011. Coops 2012 university of Michigan recruiting class will go as a team for their official visit on dec 9-11.
UM has almost finished filling their 2013 slots and they even have a few filled for 2014.
Heard OSU has 7-8 offense slots filled.
Current seniors committed for fall 2012 class
Current Juniors committed for fall 2013 class
Current Sophomores already committing for fall 2014 class. Context…they played their freshman year season, as rising sophmores went to summer camps and committed fall of their sophomore year. They have 3 more seasons of HS lax to play before they get to college, play fall ball, do skill development and strength and conditioning over the winter and then see their first NCAA spring lax season in 2015.
It’s fall 2011.
We’ve already begun to see more and more transfers. I sense a possible root cause is 15 and 16 year olds are still maturing academically, athletically and emotionally. It’s hard for them to really know what school, campus community and lax program are going to be the best fit for them. Ditto the NCAA coaches.
It’s just the nature of the beast.
Up in the morning
Work like a dog
Is better than sitting
Like a bump on a log
Mind all your manners
Be quiet as a mouse
Some day you’ll own a home
That’s as big as a house
I know a fella
He eats like a horse
Knocks his old balls
Round the old golf course
You oughta see his wife
She’s a cute little dish
She smokes like a chimney
And drinks like a fish
There’s a big old goofy man
Dancing with a big old goofy girl
It’s a big old goofy world
Now elvis had a woman
With a head like a rock
I wished I had a woman
That made my knees knock
She’d sing like an angel
And eat like a bird
And if I wrote a song
She’d know ever single word
Kiss a little baby
Give the world a smile
If you take an inch
Give ’em back a mile
Cause if you lie like a rug
And you don’t give a damn
You’re never gonna be
As happy as a clam
So I’m sitting in a hotel
Trying to write a song
My head is just as empty
As the day is long
Why it’s clear as a bell
I should have gone to school
I’d be wise as an owl
Stead of stubborn as a mule.
count blessing versus burdens = more happiness
mic came home from a long day at school, tests, quizzes and soccer game they lost. ’bout 9pm. i just let him chill and gave him the break he needed after a long day and avoided the inquisitions like “how did you do on your math test.” he decompressed by checking his facebook and fantasy football sites. he checked his grades on progress book and then headed in to the kitchen for some chipotle mom brought home
tend to ask questions, do set ups and share stories.
the reason for this book.
larry. yoga. meditation. not talking about lowering quality standards. not talking about settling for less. not talking about looking at life as a half empty glass. adjust the peaks of lofty expectations and your yardstick for measuring lifes joys and less will end up being more. dont fall into trap the trap of leaders are only born not made. mom is a steady eddy. i was born with tendancies that go from low to high with little middle ground. im not a natural at this. learning as i go. as you age, hopefully you mature, or marinate and can go deeper in the pose. its about learning to live more in the moment. be mindful of the past and future. history and mystery. the present is a gift. try not to always guess the gift. then again, there are people because of circumstance, upbringing and lifes experiences that dont like surprises. they try and figure everything out or go the extreme and become pessimists figuring it’ll be bad news so when it isnt ill be happier. thats their strategy for pursuing happiness.
who do you want to win? just wanna see a good game together. consider the timing of this source. late middle age. both of us stressing about money, a house full of kids and ever changing schedules. a hurry up and “get it in” before the lighting delay or storm hits. man biological need and thinking about sex every 3 minutes and kids, mom and then dad’s hierarchy of needs operating within the wife’s brains, heart and soul and you have the recipe for mid life sexual malaise.
pure, spontaneous, simultaneous joy. other times just weather delay. sometimes rained out
for the food before us
and the love that surrounds us
may we trully be thankful
home is security, safe house
smile when you see people, greet them by name and firm handshake.
dont always feel like doing this but its the right thing to do, makes people feel good and the returns are more than you put in
hi this is david charlton
headline the purpose of call
6 am day after Christmas
I throw some clothes on in the dark
The smell of cold
Car seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb
Up the stairs to her apartment
She is balled up on the couch
Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
they’re not home to find us out
And we drive
Now that I have found someone
I’m feeling more alone
Than I ever have before
She’s a brick and I’m drowning slowly
they call her name at 7:30
I pace around the parking lot
then I walk down to buy her flowers
And sell some gifts that I got
Can’t you see
It’s not me you’re dying for
Now she’s feeling more alone
Then she ever has before
She’s a brick and I’m drowning slowly
off the coast and I’m headed nowhere
She’s a brick and I’m drowning slowly
As weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
They told me son it’s time to tell the truth
She broke down and I broke down
Cause I was tired of lying
Driving home to her apartment
For the moment we’re alone
Now I know it
I was just thinking about you and wanted to say hi. No need to respond. Hope you find time to smile everyday. You seemed sad toward the end, before I left. I know you have a lot of stress but our family is awesome. It’s one thing I’ve learned over the past year and since I’ve been away from home at school. Thanks for everything.
Ps thanks again for always making me dinner when i came home late and after everyone else had already eaten. I miss sitting there eating, neither of us talking, just sitting and being together.
Sit up front
Say hi to teachers by name
Be yourself, playful and fun to be around
Experiments never fail
5 foot rule…say hi
Here’s a “career rule to live by” for those newly minted lawyers who want to develop a lot of business and make a lot of money. It’s called the “5-foot rule.” It says, “Say hello to anyone standing within 5 feet of you.”
lawyer: david Montgomery
Doctor: Michael Todd
Mentors: bill welsh, don gets, John tobin, uncle Chris
Liberal point of view: uncle paulie
Conservative point of view: pop pie and Chris
Libertarian point of view: Walter
we learned that getting off to a slow start gpa-wise and then cranking it senior year, even with 4.4, 4.6 and 4.3, the gpa only rises a little. not enough for any academic scholarships, let alone acceptance into say University of Michigan unless you are recruited by them to play say, lacrosse.
better to start strong and if the grades slack a little senior year, the gpa only dips a little.
its always better to start high as its easier to come down thatn start low. its very hard to dig out of a hole. think of it as a strong foundation versus a weak foundation.
the math is oh so slow to change regardless of up or down
when i die, i’ll be cremated. have your passports ready. in my safe deposit box will be the cash to pay for the flights, hotels and restaurants to scatter my ashes in the waters off:
- block island, rhode island where i asked your mom to marry me
- boca grade where we were married
- st barts where we honeymooned, and
my vision is that the three of you will do this together, alone. no girlfirends (or boyfriends if thats the case), wives or kids. solo. the broneah boys.
timing (hopefully I’ll be around a long time) will probably dictate you carve things up in chunks. thats cool. just as long as the three of you do it together.
one last thing: you need to travel together versus meet at the destinations independently. you’ll figure out the ”why”.
candy and andy and dick and jane. beautiful kids. beautiful wives. wildly successful businessmen at the helms of their own companies. xmas cards from family vacations on st. barts, the cloisters, the serengeti. flash rides. every opportunity to be happy….or so it seemed. the marriages crashed and burned with all the typical collateral damage. both divorces shocked everyone in town.
mom is my best friend. i learned that from poppie and odie. i didn’t know any thing different. same values. very similar backgrounds. very similar tastes, though your mom absoultely knows how to lead a life well lived much better than i do. i just gotta start cranking the cash to enable it. we’ve worked hard at becoming better communicators. a key book there was and continues to be “The Five Love Languages.” recently mom and i were stressing over money and how the heck we were going to pay for University of Michigan. once we got that out in the open, the fear, the uncertainty, we calmed ourselves by re-committing to trusting in the process and the help we are getting from Alex and the crew at College Planning Network. Before we got back to being parents, we both agreed that we are classic examples of a couple “fighting” over money issues. we both agreed that we do not at the moment have any other issues core to our marriage that needs fixing. just keep on nurturing it along.
a husband and wife dont have to be best friends. they need to be great partners with a common vision and cause. being best friends who are partners just works for us.
to date, mom has struggled for most of our marrigae with my entrepreneurism. i live pretty much full-time in the future. mom is very much in the present and that is full of daily money worries. present-day realities do catch up with me now and then and you see the distant, aloof and short-tempered me. the dad flat on his back, up in bed reading a book, getting lost in someone else’s story. beats the alternative i used to turn to: booze.
mom’s a champ and pretty much soldiers on with an even keel that we have all come to depend on.
as one of my mentors shared, “I just knew in my heart I couldn’t work for someone else. I just had to do my own thing. It hasn’t been easy, especially for my wife. But we never gave up and that hardwork and a little bit of luck and enough time, it all worked out in the end.”
grammy and walter had the same experience with the Creekwood apartments. Odie and Poppie with RIce Oil. remember that painting in poppies office in Neah of the cowboy trying to push that wagon stuck in the creek? thats poppie’ symbol for the trail they were on.
work for smart people, be a great employee, then head out on your own
for about half that time, she struggled with my alcoholism.
i’ve been writing this book for years in bits n pieces. stuff that has worked and lessons learned on stuff that didn’t. stuff we keep doing, started doing and stopped doing in the process
*of raising three boys to gentle-men.
this book is for cooper, michael and max. it’s mom and dad’s playbook that we are pretty much making Up as we go. yes, we are setting aside a little bit of any money we might make on this book for you. why? to defray some of the costs associated with the countless hours you’ll be billed by your psychiatrist to undue the damage done by a couple amateurs!
It’s a resource. When the student is ready, a teacher will appear. Use it as you need it and add some for the next guy.
as jimmy buffet sings,
it’s a semi-true story, believe it or not
i made up a few things and some i forgot
but the life and the tellin’ are both real to me
and they all run together and turn out to be
a semi-true story
i dedicate this book to my grandparents, whom I was fortunate to spend many years getting to know, learning from and be loved by.
David Charlton, Hudson, Ohio, 2011
attitude is everything. timing is everything. when the student is ready the teacher will appear.
papa charlton’s wisdom, strong sense of family and apple sauce
grammy charlton’s sweetness, strength and fierce loyalty
papa drohan’s great sense of humor, insatiable curiosity and independence
grammy drohan’s athleticism, resiliency and love of nature
Honor, remember, reunite blog video Together we remember (better) Worry about money later Best fit academically, athletically and financially Talent is over rated Hard work beats talent Bos lessons
No one likes to be told what to do
Vs disappointed in you
Mom and dad being on same page.
Agree ahead of time if something said in front of kid thatnother parent doesn’t agree with, save it for later.
Learned my lessons when I took away tv for a week.
Rabbit ears vs cable.
Set ups. Hot stove top. Forgotten cleats. Habitually over sleep. Miss the bus. Walk to school.
Order own food at restaurants.
Pay pizza man.
Cussing at next table.
R movies. Family discussions afterwards.
Oh I was hoping you could enjoy some ice creme with us tonight
After the fact.
Silence for most of the day until consequence meeting
Warrior gets spit in face. Comes back another day.
1000 timeouts in the corner
Sitting nose to nose
Last cookie. One brother breaks in half. Other brother chooses.
Mom can I get this candy. Sure. Did you bring your money?
Apply to wra. Interviews.
Dropmoff for coach interview.
Practicing handshakes. Role play.
Cook a meal for the whole family
Cry all night. Keep everyone up the next day. Never had a sleep issue again.
No eye contact. No words. Just point upstairs.
Routine loves company
Clothes left on ground end up disappearing
Resign from soccer
Toys left on ground get donated. After multiple discussions, warnings.
As Susan and I sat in the stands last night, I was so happy for brad. Forget the score and the fact Hudson won. I was happy for brad because I was watching a man ensconced in waves of pure joy. So in the moment. Feeding his soul. The king, warrior, magician and “lover” (great book) all being traversed simultaneously. No small feat for a man in today’s conflicted society. Hey, we know brad ain’t perfect;-) but it was the epitome of the self actualization of the modern masculine psyche. It was beautiful. Those boys he leads are so darn lucky. I was lucky, too, watching it unfold. It was the highlight of my Friday night lights.
it’s usually a question of timing in conversations that start things off on the wrong note. Mom can I sleep over.
I get mad at him. Mom would then get made at me for stepping in. Round and round
Play our game. He shares and engages. We ask less questions
Didn’t want to come home because we peppered him with questions.
Prepared ourselves to listen vs over reach, judge and preach.
from rising freshman to pg year in canada to university of michigan. one family’s experience helping their student-athlete take those extra steps towards greatness
- cash flow for kids
- no to wra
- white knuckles
- officer brouchard
- love languages
- rich dad poor dad
- father and son
- sat mornings
- pay it forward / under his wing
- summer jobs
- goal setting
- glory vs fame
- australia and new zealand
- hard work beats talent
- grind it out. head down and trust in the process. focus, faith, effort
- when the student is ready the teacher will appear
- last guy on team
- role player in practice
- from suspension to ray hyser
- helicopter parents
- set ups (forgotten cleats)
- too late
- no coaches came a callin’
- help ideas over the wall (cali plan mom and dad dont like but dont tell)
- no heat seeking missiles
- better fit academically, athletically, socially, financially
- titanium and under armour and king of the hill and reebok canada top 100
- hill, avon, deerfield
- play with fire and second chance with officer brouchard
- xmas day
- decision making; trust the process
- commitment to hill
- begins to pay dividends
- bo’s lasting lessons
- way of peaceful warrior
- bill wlesh
- under water basket weaving
- financial aid
- credit card
- negotiating: boy to man ritual
- i’ll take it from here
16 core course over 8 semesters of HS
assuming gpa and credits qualified
grind it out
no fewer than 10 folks this week have either called, emailed or said in person, “oh you guys must be so sad and weepy and emotional about cooper leaving.”
below is a copy of an email i sent in reply to one such instance. i figure you and i are on the same page but figured it wouldnt hurt to make sure you know where im coming from. ditto mom. fyi: mom’s ‘tough time dealing with this” is almost exclusively related to the financial challenges all/most wives of entrepreneurs face, not to mention most families when budgeting for college. is what it is. hopefully she shared this with you already. anyways, here’s the short email about how i see things as it relates to you flying the coop.
“its interesting, yes im sure the emotions will well and pour when we drive away tuesday morning and head back home. but right now, this week, this summer and ever since we got the news of his acceptance to the hill academy, its all been viewed thru the lens of goal achieved. the 3 of us set out on a path with a fuzzy future and kept the faith that along the way the goal and path would reveal themselves.
phase I (year-round lax and internship) and II (university of michigan, DI) goals achieved.
so now that phase I is here and we were very careful and mindful what we wished for it all seems according to plan. and so, emotions are less about loss than they are about collective excitement and promise….all 5 of us.
“that impossible for my parents, sister to understand. they project their almost 30 yr old remembered emotions on us from when they dropped me off at UNH for my brief appearance in durham.
“anyways, thanks for the call and congrats. moments of pride briefly acknowledged as we quickly turn our attention to helping guide 2 more boys to their respective promised lands.
“You guys did a great job. I’ll take it from here.”
Coop’s last words last night as we 3-way hugged in the driveway of his hill academy dorm.
I’ll take it from here.
As we drove back to our hotel, Susan and and I silently stared straight ahead trying to keep it together, knowing if either attempted to say something eloquent about the moment we’d both lose it. We got about 100 yards before we both did this crazy laugh-cry-try-to-catch-your-breath. Silence. Hold breath. crazy laugh-cry-try-to-catch-your-breath. Silence.
I’ll take it from here.
Photosharing services have 4 main business models. There are definitely others, but as far as I’ve studied, these are the 4 main ones. Generic display ads, suitable for more public sites with lots of page views (yfrog) Targeted ads for sites that have lots of information about users (Facebook) Premium accounts with more storing space and features (Flickr) Transactions for selling and buying photos (Smugmug, stock photo sites) In my opinion, Path’s user interface elegance doesn’t bode well with display advertising and they probably won’t have enough page views for that. In principle they could use more subtle advertising models with super-targeted ads as they are going to know quite a lot about users, but it still sounds a bad fit with their strong focus on privacy. With their current product offering, I don’t see good opportunities for transaction-based models. That leaves premium accounts. I have understood that even Flickr isn’t exactly a cash-cow, but let’s do some math. Let’s say that Path would offer 1GB storage for free. With the current iPhone photo sizes (2-3MB), you would need to share one photo every day for a year to hit that limit. I don’t see that high frequency in my friends usage of the service. For Flickr and earlier photo sharing sites it was a bit different as we lived the era of digital cameras and people did mass uploads of photos from their cameras. I don’t see that happening anymore. I like Path a lot. but I’m still uncertain how they are going to make money. My guess is that it they will offer premium accounts with better features, maybe add video uploads that eat more storage space and make premium accounts necessity. And although they emphasize privacy, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they wouldn’t mine your data to use it for targeted advertising or in more innovative ways for business purposes. (Note: I originally wrote this as a detailed description to a similar question which was redirected here, but I posted it as an answer here.) This answer . Please specify the necessary improvements. Edit Link Text Show answer summary preview when available. UpdateLink to Questions, Topics and People AddFind Questions, Topics or PeopleCancelFlag AnswerAdd Comment • Jun 18, 2011 Edit Link Text Show answer summary preview when available. UpdateLink to Questions, Topics and People AddFind Questions, Topics or PeopleComment Susan Beebe, former Tech Entrepreneur1 vote by KJ Watts Currently, every social platform is open and has the potential for a ton of “noise”. Path has wisely developed a closed system (allows only 50 connected friends per user). This ensures a high signal-to-noise ratio. Personally, I would pay for this service as I like the constrained social network model. An Ad model is not out of the question either. Just because Path limits connections, the actual user base is not limited, so Ads could work as well.
freemium, contextualized advertising
best memorial manifestation i’ve ever seen; not just hawks football, lacrosse, too
runs the household with an efficiency that astonishes me
natural way abouy him that appealed to the higher instincts of adults
Well, Coop’s dream is now a reality. This fall he will continue on the post graduate (PG) path for a 5th year of high school, or as some call it a “13th year”, at the Hill Academy in Toronto. Fall 2012 he will begin attending the University of Michigan.
Throughout the summer as he toured schools, U-M consistently remained his #1 choice. Yesterday he verbally inked the deal with Michigan’s Coach Paul, the day before the “dead period”. Throughout this (for us) multi-year process, the #1 goal was to find the best fit for him academically, as a college community and financially. Thanks to lacrosse, he was admitted to an academically competitive school; without lax, even with graduating with distinction, there was no chance of admittance. Thanks to lacrosse, financially he has earned athletic scholarship money to defray some of the high cost.
The icing on the cake was the opportunity to play DI lacrosse. He will do all of the above in Ann Arbor as a Michigan Man and Wolverine.
A big thanks to Mat Wilson on helping us discover both a PG year and The Hill Academy. This one connection changed the arc of Cooper’s life for the better. The dividends that have already begun to flow Coop’s way leave Susan and I thinking we will also explore a PG year for Michael and Max, a kinda “reverse” hold-back strategy on the back end vs keeping the child back a year before he starts 1st grade.
Susan, Cooper and I have learned lots; there was a substantial amount of stuff we didn’t know we didn’t know. Debbie and Brian Rogan, Wendy and Brian Vehar, Gretchen and Jon Greising were all so helpful in helping us discover that we had to find the best fit academically and as a college community first, lax second. This was by far the best advice we got and in our minds the primary guideline on which to build a student-athletes vision for the next 4 years.
The process was further enhanced for Cooper as we had him drive the process from beginning to end. Susan and I were there as mentors, but when it came time to tour, interview and ultimately negotiate with the coaches, Cooper was in the driver’s seat. Yes we all hopped on a con call with financial aid people but other than that and briefly meeting the coach, the student-athlete was the single point of contact. Each Coach remarked at some point how much they respected Coop for this leadership; this did nothing but enhance Coop’s attractiveness in their eyes as they got a taste of the leadership that might soon be on the field, campus and classrooms. Based on the size of the athletic award, Cooper did very, very well for himself based on feedback from those in the know.
As we have discovered, the lacrosse family (aka, lacrosse mafia) is a tight knit group that looks out for each other. This winter Cooper has been invited to join a lax team going to Costa Rica to work with their National Team to help them take things to the next level. On the way, eco-tourism, community service projects, surfing, kite boarding, experiencing the cultures food, arts and history, etc.
I could go on and on how much lax has done for this kid. Rather than “push” this content, feel free to “pull” this outta our heads when the timing is right for you and your son, if he chooses to leverage lax as a tool to enhance and expand the options within the marathon college search process.
We also have some experiences on the summer lax camps/teams that were very high value to get looks as well as those that were less effective.
Lastly, a disclaimer: Cooper LOVES lacrosse. He will play anytime day or night. At our house, you hear this phrase all the time even after an intense practice or game: “care to lax” is our cue to head outside and start tossing the ball together as a family (Susan’s has been seen out there from time to time, too). I share this so there is no misunderstanding on anyone’s part that this was ever a “forced march” for Coop. Or a chore representing a means to an end. Its been organic as he has matured as a young person and lax player. His big passion in life right now and over the past 3 years is competitive lacrosse. It feeds the “warrior” and “magician” inside him. Being a captain fed the “king” in him. As a leader even w/out the captain credentials, connecting with players and coaches on a deeper level feeds the “lover” in him (warrior, king, magician and lover is a GREAT book). If the passion wasn’t there none of the above could have happened. Each child is his own unique person on this life walk. my gosh….I just keep going;-)
In fact Michael and I went to a counselor to get some guidance on making sure we are both on the same page in learning how each of us best send and receives communication as a pre-emptive strike for the upcoming high school years. What worked for Cooper, Susan and I is not necessarily what will work best for Michael (or Max) as we navigate what for us were some challenging years with Cooper. When the fur starts flying, we better be able to communicate well difficult and emotionally charged topics.
Yep, Michael was not thrilled with going. I framed it as I wanted to become a better Dad and the counselor needed him there to better understand who it was I wanted to be a better dad to. he left the session feeling like it was worthwhile. We both picked up some new communication techniques that have already brought us even closer and even sharper at crisp, clear, timely communication. We’ll wrap with a final session with Susan in a couple of weeks as we help him position himself for success in HS by getting off to a strong start, both academically and athletically.
Ha Ha a PS: we haven’t given much thought to coop’s website; figured it had served its purpose and no longer did any update. oh how foolish young grasshopper! i bumped into a summer time acquaintance tis past weekend in TC and somehow she had seen the site. she learned coop would be doing a spring internship in toronto as part of school. she said she has ton of friends up there that either own or owned some big businesses and she will dial them in to expand the number of opportunities for him to choose from. hence, we have updated the site http://coopercharlton.blogspot.com/
in ncaa, cant stack an athletic scholarship with michigan grant money; its an either / or. if grant is more than scholarship, the athletic award goes back into the recruiting pool. a very fluid process. pays to negotiate your way patiently throuh the process
today coop and coach paul, university of michigan lacrosse coach, concluded the recruting process. cooper has committed to become a wolverine as part of the 2012-2013 recruting class. thanks to lacrosse, he got admitted to an academically challenging school (which wouldn’t have happened otherwise as its so competitive) and has gotten some financial assistance, too.
Awaiting the 2pm mark, can’t wait to finish up our early morning conversation. My dream is in reach. I will call you at 2:05. If you need more time or finished your meeting early let me know and I can call at your convenience. Go Big Blue!
Sent from my iPad
Parents of Long Poles
Please help us help your 8th grade boys honor the spirit of the game of lacrosse by encouraging them to play a more physical and rough game and with more heart than they have ever played the game before.
All of your boys are fine, young gentleman*. Compared to Cooper’s class at this age, this tribe of 8th graders are universally sweet, thoughtful, considerate and selfless, almost to a fault. Great qualities in life learned at such a young age. A wonderful thing.
However, in lacrosse, when they step over the white line and onto the playing field, holding onto these qualities as they compete leave them and our team at a disadvantage. On the field, we are finding the spirit of the game is not consistently being honored.
The name of the game is to be very physical, to be rough and give it all your heart. Literally, the word “Lacrosse” means “to bump hips.” The Tewaaraton Award, lacrosse’s Heisman Trophy, comes from the Native American (Mowhawk) word “Tewaarathon” that means “little brother of war.” The Natives, in addition to sport, played lacrosse to solve conflicts off the field versus solving their disputes with full-out tribal wars. We have consistently asked, demanded, cajoled them to bring their individual games to a whole new level of intensity and physical play. To date, we have not seen the team as a whole and players individually, “bring it.”
Yes, the boys play fair all the time, but like any sport, to be successful, it demands much more. Among other goals, the coaches want to position your boys to have opportunities for success in HS lacrosse (whether at HHS or Reserve). We have done and said all we can. They have won some and lost more but still we do not see a true competitive spirit taking hold. At practice and in games, “malaise, lackadaisical” are good descriptors. The boys do not consistently play a physical, rough game and we do not see them playing with 100% heart, 100% of the time.
Contrast. I saw more physical play, intensity and heart on display at a 6th grade Hylax game last Thursday. These kids were “bumping hips” 100% of the time. 5/6th grade Coaches, Tyler Malson, Nate Jones and Mike Orazen have helped these young kids learn and honor the game of lacrosse. The focus and intensity I saw on the field mirrored the intensity I saw on the sidelines with the 10-11 year-old players itching to get in and compete. They were there to win the battle together as a team.
Please help us help your boys honor the spirit of the game of lacrosse by encouraging them to play a more physical and rough game and with more heart than they have ever played the game. To be successful in HS next year, this aspect of their game is considered table-stakes by HS coaches.
Disclaimer: this email, without changing a single word, could be sent to the attackman and middies, too.
Below is a link to a short YouTube video on the history of lacrosse which was sent to me by a lax Dad this morning. In the video, the principle of honoring the spirit of the game hit me hard as it relates to what is missing from the 8th grade teams this year. As we shared with the kids yesterday at practice, its up to the them how much intensity and heart they play with as we enter May and this season winds down.
One definition of insanity is doing the same thing while hoping for a different outcome. A change of heart is what this team needs to turn their season around and position themselves for success next year in HS when they compete for a finite number of long pole spots.
I just got Coach Elffers email announcing the rosters for this week. This email is going out to ALL long pole parents.
Lucinda Williams has a great lyric in one of her songs: “take the glory over the fame.”
I’m not sure exactly what each of your sons outlook is on the A and B teams; however, if its anything like Cooper with middle school lax and HS bball and Michael not making the 7th and 8th grade bball teams, its probably going to be painful to watch as our boys absorb what for many may be quite a blow when they find out.
My commitment to each of your sons is this: to help each long pole, regardless of where they are on the roster and development, discover that being on the A or B roster is no future indication of what will happen in HS. As a coach and a parent, my hope is to help them discover that now is the time to focus on developing as a player and teammate and less about the middle school “fame” of being on an A team. I probably do not have to bring this up as I hope you know where our hearts lie: no one on this coaching staff views the B team as one coach crudely referred to my kid who was on a B team, as a “crash test dummy” outfit to make the A team better. Thats not how any of these coaches cc’d above roll.
As you know, in middle school with a team too small to field 2 teams but too big for one, Cooper did not get any significant playing time which was less than ideal for his development (probably one reason he’s going for a PG year). Like an earlier email, this early experience led to one of Cooper’s current strengths: Because of this self-image he trains for lacrosse (and basketball) with a real chip on his shoulder. Those middle school experiences made him a harder worker, better teammate and better student of the game than those who were starting and playing a lot. Many who were middle school stars are not even on the team today! As I mentioned one former rock star senior just quit.
My hope is that current A players cherish their achievement, not let things go to their head and work even harder. My hope for the current B players is that stay positive about themselves and this great game and possibly adopt a role model they can think about who had to work harder than others to achieve their dreams. (Michael Jordan comes to mind)
Final thought: As I look around the current varsity roster for both HHS bball and lacrosse, a number of kids for whom athletic success came early and often but then ran into competition and/or a coach that valued team play and dedication over individual stardom, today their absence from those teams highlight that for some, fame is indeed fleeting. As I shared in an earlier, one middle school rock star just quit the varsity lax team. I love that kid; however, I wish he had had an environment where he would have had to work harder earlier in his development.
a communication strategy tune-up in preparation for the high school years. using a neutral 3rd party. getting counseling
you dont have to see the entire staircase to take the first steps. mlk
just get in the game
fake it til you make it
healing the shame that binds us
1, 2, 3 max five points
may still not be soon enough for the highly competitive DI schools
some parents hold their kids back in the early year. we have found a hold back at the end, after highschool graduation and before college, for a 13th year or 5th year or post graduate (pg) year is a route less traveled. already paying dividends.
wanna make the a team. fame. reality, limited playing time.
on the b team. see lots of playing time. more chances for glory as a individual and as a teammate.
split half bottle of rum with a friend in 20 minutes. roughly, 18 shots of 80 proof alcohol per kid in 20 minutes. blood alcohol approaching .40.
getting to know yourself
had a young guy give a 20 minute powerpoint presentation. he had 40 slides. audience overwhelmed, lost and indifferent by minute 3.
helpful rule of thumb: 10 slides, 20 minutes, 32 point font
better provider, wife feels more secure and safe. key ingredients to a little more frequent and engaged intimacy
brodie merrill for lsm and close defenseman and bryce queener for goalies.
based on meeting brodie and bryce, two of cooper’s coaches next year, their background, experience and success, this is a camp we wish we had known about.
lax, street, financial, emotional, intellectual, standardized
we asked our 11 year old if he was still “dating” kenna. he said “no, i broke up with her”. we asked how he handled the break up?
did he text her: no
did he email her: no
did he have a friend tell her: no
the 11 year old said “i called her and said can we get back to just being friends?”
she thought that made sense since they never really got to “hang out”
launch coops site on blogspot.com to begin marketing efforts to get recruited by NCAA team to play lacrosse. Very little substantive content. Lots to learn. Including how to get film, edit film and post on you tube.
face to face
dinner out together
woke up this morning. walked downstairs, found susan fixing the boys’ lunch and said, “i’m finished drinking.”
two night ago i was in bed reading people magazine. they reviewed 3 autobiographies by alcoholics sharing their stories from drink to done. for some reason i jumped outta bed and went to the library. they had 2 of them. stayed up most of the night and finished both.
drinking: a love story, caroline knapp
a drinking life: a memoir, pete hamil