Have got me to thinkin

Nikki lane
Front porch

A Jewish kid asks his father for $50 the father says $40 what do you need $30 for

As Rob Reiner says I can tell that joke because im Jewish so Even though im making a Jewish stereotype, im denigrating himself

RP

http://www.businessinsider.com/sexism-women-silicon-valley-tech-why-startup-founder-sex-investor-2017-7

https://ericaroman.me/2017/07/07/a-widows-rage-defense-of-patton-oswalts-engagement/

Red solo cup
Napkin
Red solo cup

Add ice n beverage

Castaway

“So you know what I have to do. I have to keep breathing. And tomorrow the sun will rise, and who knows what the tide will bring in.”

Dead
Allman bros

Umphree mcgee
Phish
Widespread pabic

Tedechi trucks

We had no way of knowing

More than this roxy music
Related to alcoholism n chemistry not character

Dave revisiting an old topic, the Irish depth of soulfulness. I’m reading a book called The Imortal Irishman, this phrase just stung me, ‘ the shredding of a nation, one in four gone by emigration or starvation. The former would never forget; the latter would never be forgotten. That burden of memory was never heavier’. That lays out the connection to the sources of sadness..

Bertrand Russell’s Advice for Future Generations

Bertrand Arthur William Russell (18 May 1872 – 2 February 1970) was a British philosopher, logician, mathematician, historian, writer, social critic, political activist, he was a prominent anti-war activist and a Nobel laureate.

Advice from Bertrand Russell when he was interviewed in 1959 by John Freeman for BBC’s Face to Face.

Asked what advice to future generations he’d give. Facts n love. See the video interview

Dave revisiting an old topic, the Irish depth of soulfulness. I’m reading a book called The Imortal Irishman, this phrase just stung me, ‘ the shredding of a nation, one in four gone by emigration or starvation. The former would never forget; the latter would never be forgotten. That burden of memory was never heavier’. That lays out the connection to the sources of sadness..

This long weekend I spent a wonderful 5 days with my old army buddies from the mid-80s, including a pool hall night, an awesome blues club night, a round of golf on the lakeshore, Second City, a Cubs game (that we won in the 13th inning!), another blues club night, and today a highly profitable afternoon at the casino in IN. Then an evening watching war movies and telling stories about our military experience. They just left and this long-awaited reunion officially ended–but we do this every year and I look forward to the next, which will be in Porland Maine next Labor Day. So glad, for so many reasons, that I did my hitch in the army back when I was young enough to do it, and to make such enduring, resonant friendships. We were soldiers once, and young.

As one of the only profitable, commercial-stage oncology companies

Scarcity value

Take a peek in lots of doors. Say yes to evrrything then cull the herd. Clubs, orgs, sports.

Try out. If make team, decide then.

Options = wealth

Posted by maryanne m

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michelle-e-steinke/stifled-grief-how-the-wes_b_10243026.html

Our clients come to take Pilates for many reasons. Whatever their reasons, we find out in their early sessions that they are imbalanced. We recognize their imbalances and use the method of Pilates to restore balance to this body and mind. It is a constant process; un-ending. There is no balance, there is only working-towards-balance. That is The Truth.

Shari

Wishing a very happy burfday to my nephew Perry: expert backgammon player and poet extraordinaire, Georgetown senior and cool college radio DJ, ripshit smart political and intellectual wizard, verbal legerdemain artist, sports wonk of the first blush, and a wonderful nephew whom I can’t wait to see in DC in a month. And most importantly by far, a kind and generous heir to his father’s great heart–I’m proud to call him my nephew. Happy 22, kiddo!

Versus…but
Stephen colbert and keegan muchael key

Perfect storm producing substance abuse disorder
Family tree
Brain injury
Childhood trauma
Depression and anxiety

Steely Dan
Don winslow
Blow the movie
Grateful Dead
Netflix pablo escobar, etc
BSAG
References
Fixing or Mixing drinks for others

Blazing . . . Mr. Winslow’s keen attention to drug culture isn’t going to keep readers away from him. He’s too damn good to be polarizing. His characters are smart about their self-interest. His dialogue is tight, laconic, and razor sharp; if Elmore Leonard or Lee Child discovered surfing, they might sound something like this.” (Janet Maslin The New York Times)

Netflix film
Keep it exactly the same because it made it what is was

http://mikerowe.com/2016/06/commencement-address-for-prager-u/

http://jezebel.com/ask-a-former-drunk-when-do-you-know-you-have-a-problem-1780859204

Under Jesus Christ
Raised tneither to believe or not to believe in …

And this convuction had been presnt in his smile….

The book the things they carried page 157

So sad that the only way we get relief from the denial that blinds us is through feeling the pain of such consequences. Hopefully this “moment of clarity” will enable your son to see that abstinence itself is not equivalent to recovery. It is simply the precondition to recovery mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially, and recovery is the means to prevent further addiction – induced pain. Very scary for him to admit he needs to abstain completely and indefinitely from not only alcohol but all other mood – altering drugs in order to recover. How else will he cope with uncomfortable feelings? That is of course the fear that fuels the denial – denial of the existence of addiction and the need to treat it beyond simply abstaining, selectively and for awhile. And that is of course what fellowship (meetings), mentorship (sponsor) and spiritually based cognitive behavioral therapy (the twelve steps) provides.

An addict has precisely two choices: complete, continuous abstinence and indefinite participation in a program of recovery, or eventual return to the devastation of active addiction, and the great pain that brings to the addict and anyone who loves the addict. Perhaps xxxx would be benefit from reading this – sent as a physician with 25 years of experience in addiction medicine and 27 years of personal recovery, and as a person who fell in love with his fine heart when I watched his video about his gap year. I hope he chooses recovery, so he can live according to his heart, and stop breaking his heart by the consequences of active addiction, such as beating up his friend. I’m also very willing to help in any way I can if xxxx seeks my help.

Ali–you can say a lot of simple things about him, but two stand out: when I was a kid in middle school in southern California and bullied quite a bit by neighborhood toughs, I watched Ali and learned one very important thing: circle your opponent dancingly, so most of his puches fly behind you, which really did work in schoolyard fights, and–much more importantly, and was something I simply couldn’t do–throw the left jab, normally a stopgap punch that just slowed and fatigued the other guy, like a brick in a glove–something unteachable and brutal and tremendously, casually effective. If you could throw a simple jab and demolish people with it, you could not lose. He floated, danced, threw a lot of jabs that hit like bricks in gloves, and when he got angry he was the most beautiful, clinically destructive boxer who ever lived. We will miss him.

Louie ck oh my god show

letting 11 yr kid drive car or go see r rated movie

Tom petty song
Netflux video
Theme theory losing your mom and abusive dad

Club lacrosse
One on one coaching (coop, bo]

Brainstorming
Jazz
Grateful dead

Dont know where it will take you

Safety sactuary of home
Not peppering with questions moment u get home

Michael Botticelli: I often say that substance use is one of the last diseases where we’d let people reach their most acute phase of this disorder before we offer them intervention. You’ve heard the phrase “hitting bottom.” Well, we don’t say that with any other disorder. So the medical community has a key role to play in terms of doing a better job of identifying people in the early stages of their disease, in doing a better job at treating people who have this disorder.

Notice that word: “disorder,” Botticelli prefers it to “addiction.” He wants to lift the stigma by changing the language as he did this past October in a rally on the National Mall.

1+1=3
good story telling
lincoln ended the civil war and then had time to go to a play
jeffereson all men are created equal but didnt free a single slave

http://introvertspring.com/6-signs-youre-an-extroverted-introvert/

‘Or I could tell someone the truth. Nobody knew the most important facts about my life. So really my self was a false self, it was a working self for dealing with the world, and behind that wall was total chaos, just this sort of swirling blackness, and I just found it totally unbearable, second by second, being me. So I thought, I have to stop it or get some help.’ Edward St Aubyns

follow up later

moment
smoke weed last night?
yes
thanks for sharing. change topic – what do you want for dinner

later
deeper dive

consequence for driving in car with someone who smoked
not a consequence for smoking

Officially, Dr. Zingerman. It was a long journey filled with laughter, stress, frustration, long nights, doubts, hopes, dreams, introspective self realizations and acceptance. There is no way this would be possible without the help and support of my family and friends, or the camaraderie of our class, which has turned into a life long network of dear friends, colleagues, and family. Thank you all for your support, friendship, and guidance on this journey. You all mean more to me than you may realize.

http://m.toledoblade.com/local/2016/04/15/Students-lay-to-rest-those-who-died-alone.html

St iggy does this too

Quartz video on brain scan on lsd

SECOND CHANCES CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE

I would ask all parents to have their teenage children read this post. This past Monday, my wife and I gave three talks in Shaker Heights, Cleveland to approximately 1000 people including 9-12th grade students at both US and Hathaway Brown High Schools as well as an evening presentation to a large group of their parents. The topic was Teenage Drinking. At the end of our first presentation which was at US school, a senior student stood up and asked this one question, “If you don’t want us to drink alcohol then when are we allowed to make our own mistakes?” The question was very blunt but legitimate. My answer was this: “I don’t pretend to think that you as a teenager will never drink alcohol. But I do expect you to think about the consequences that can result from it.”
Remember, every situation that you put yourself in leading to a mistake has a direct consequence attached to it. Obviously, everyone makes mistakes in life. Yet with every situation, you need to consider the possible consequences of your action and determine if it is worth it. For my oldest son Brian, he was drinking with friends at a party one Friday night, became intoxicated, drove drunk and struck a tree at high speed one mile from our home. His consequence was dying alone in a car at age 18. In his right mind, Brian was against drunk driving. In his intoxicated state, he drove drunk. When you drink alcohol, you will do things that you normally would not do.
As a neurosurgeon, I have seen numerous teenagers who have been injured or died as a result of alcohol. Imagine being paralyzed from the neck down unable to breath or talk on your own. You are awake, sitting up and strapped to a wheel chair, as a breathing machine keeps you alive. Every aspect of your life that you once knew gone. You are now completely dependent on others to feed you, bath you and care for you every hour of every day. Or worse, you injure or kill someone else as a result of drinking alcohol and driving drunk. When you awake in the morning, you find yourself arrested and taken to jail in handcuffs. You are then convicted by a jury and sentenced to 20 or more years in jail for vehicular manslaughter. You took the life of an innocent person and you may not even remember what happened. As you sit in your jail cell alone and unable to see your family and friends, you ask yourself, “why did I drink last night.” And You Only Wish That You Had a Second Chance To Do It All Over.
These are consequences that most teens do not consider as they take their first sip of alcohol for the evening. A simple lapse of judgement for a split second can change everything.
Yes, everyone makes mistakes in life. It’s called being human. But there will always be a consequence to follow. I ask you to not put yourself in situations that can drastically alter you and your family’s life without warning. This would especially include drinking alcohol and becoming drunk. If you could stand at the bedside and witness a family saying there final goodbyes to their teenage daughter or son. A child lying there brain dead after being involved in an alcohol-related accident. To think that this loved one was fine yesterday and now today is awaiting the process of organ donation. No hope of returning to the life they once had. Only painful memories left for the family who remain.
As I concluded my answer to this young man, I asked him to consider again what happened to my son Brian. A young man who just turned 18 and was looking forward to his bright future in so many ways. He carried a 4.5 GPA throughout high school and scored a 32 on his ACT. He was three months away from graduating high school and starting a new life. He was accepted to his college of choice with the intent of becoming an Orthodontist. He Is Dead Now. Never to come back home and never to fulfill his dreams. We as a family stood over his lifeless body in the emergency department in the early morning hours of February 2, 2013 wondering how this nightmare could be happening and why? Why was Brian lying there dead on a cold gurney when he had only gone out earlier that evening to have fun with friends?
My wife and I are here today so you can bear witness to a real life story exemplifying what drinking alcohol and getting drunk can result in. In this specific case, it resulted in the death of our son. It happens! Our son Brian was a real person, with a real family and real dreams for the future. Alcohol took all of that away. Our talk to you today is not about lecturing on what you can or cannot do. You will need to make those decisions for yourself. Our talk is truly about Second Chances. A second chance to learn from the tragedy of others. Brian made a bad decision to drink the night he died and that decision cost him his life. Use our son as your second chance to make a better decision when it comes to drinking alcohol. Think of him as you are deciding to take your first sip at a party. Remember, Brian was not expecting to die that night as he started drinking with friends. He was out to have fun just like you. But you now know better that anything you’re not expecting to happen, can happen. Please be careful and choose wisely when considering to drink alcohol. Remember Brian Hoeflinger.

To learn more about Brian and our mission, please visit our website at: www.brianmatters.com and read my book titled, “The Night He Died: The Harsh Reality of Teenage Drinking” which can be purchased through our website or through Amazon. I promise you that the read will be worth your time.

Brian Hoeflinger
www.brianmatters.com

Kid doesnt want to wear warm clothes to cold snowy soccer game. Pick your battles. Kids call. Theyll learn

Hey xxx

Susan and I really enjoyed the road trip with xx! Cold as it was, terrific fun to see Joanie and John, Steve, Jodi and meet some of the Raider faithful. Good to get hugs from Jake and Grant. And always great to watch some live lacrosse. Then good to great as Susan got off scott-free with a friendly warning for her lead foot! xxxx and I remained silent as mice as Susan weaseled her way out of it (the spotless driving record may have had something to do with it).

xxxx shared xxxx’s adventures with drinking and subsequent close encounter with LEO and the southern Ohio judicial system. Susan and I have been passing in the night but she mentioned she had reached out to our legal eagles in Cincy. Sounds like our friend found you the “guy”. Admired your decision to have Will make the call himself!

My trigger in writing this isn’t because I have any insight and opinion one way or the other about the situation Will finds himself in (not my place to take another person’s inventory as we say in AA). This is just one dad sharing with another dad my experiences with cooper and michael (and to a lesser degree, max).

As this video link highlights, xxxx on his gap year discovered he had clinical depression and was an alcoholic drinker on the way to being a classic alcoholic. (could take 20 more years like me) He goes to AA now. Through his behavior while impaired in blackouts, he subsequently got to seei his shadow with us, his brothers, friends, girlfriend, her parents and a family counselor, Mic realized he had a problem – and that that problem was a genetic/chemistry issue, not a character defect. A key discovery as the self-loathing was growing inside him as he was repeating his mistakes even when he tried to limit himself to “just one drink”.

In keeping how genetics can sometimes play a role in addiction, xxxx is battling an addiction to weed. He has a desire to stop but can’t. Fear of getting found out by political adversaries on campus as the president of the student body and co-founder of mental health initiative has prevented him from seeking help and attending his first AA meeting. He has plans post graduation to get help. He will look back and discover this was a silly conclusion as AA has a fairly big foundation construct in anonymity.

xxxx has started experimenting with weed and to a lesser extent alcohol (outside lax season). We know this because he told us. He is cognizant of the genetic component that runs deep in our family. A challenging role for Susan and I to play as we encourage self-reporting but do not ever want to even hint that without consequences from his parents that we somehow condone what he and his buddies are doing. We don’t. xxxx joins his parents in sharing with xxx the perspective you run the risk of harming yourselves at this age as their brains and bodies are still baking….as well as the potential consequences with LEO and HHS.

Most parents keep this stuff well hid and so Susan and I were honored you guys reached out and shared what was going on and sought some experience sharing. And by way of this email, you may take some comfort in knowing the three of you are not the lone wolves as you navigate a winding road.

Best – DC

http://www.mensjournal.com/magazine/fly-fishing-confidential-20131127

It all began with a few stolen sips,” Harrison wrote in the piece, titled “A Man’s Guide to Drinking,” in the October 2001 issue of Men’s Journal. “The first time I got drunk was at seven in the evening on a New Year’s Eve. My mother made me get in a hot bath, where I vomited my thirteen-year-old heart out.

“In my forties, I turned to wine with a passion,” he continues. “I tested 34 Côtes du Rhones in search of a house wine I could afford … I could have become a wine snob, but didn’t. The escape was narrow, but my salvation was several near-bankruptcies …. I will not be stopping on the way home from the office for one of the syrupy California ‘cabs’ so favored by nitwits …. Money can distort the buying and drinking of wine just as it distorts art in the gallery and auction businesses.”

The Essential Jim Harrison: A Reading List
But above all, it seemed the virtue Harrison most wanted to extol to readers was that of moderation (no, really).

Jim Harrison’s Principles of Moderation

Quite some time ago I turned a corner with the emotion of wanting more consciousness. The following list had a wondrous, albeit slowly evolving, effect on my life. These are relatively mild pointers, though the consequences of ignoring them are as fatal as shooting yourself in the head in a curious time warp wherein the bullet takes many years to reach its inevitable target. -Jim Harrison

1. Drinking causes drinking. Heavy drinking causes heavy drinking. Light drinking causes light drinking.

2. The ability to check yourself moment by moment has been discussed at length by wise folks from the old Ch’an master of China all the way down to Ouspensky. This assumes a willingness to be conscious.

3. The reason to moderate is to avoid having to quit, thus losing a pleasure that’s been with us forever.

4. We don’t have much freedom in this life, and it is self-cruelty to surrender a piece of what we have because we can’t control our craving.

5. Measurement is all. A one-ounce shot delivers all the benefits of a three-ounce shot. A couple of the latter turn one into a spit-dribbler. Spit-dribblers frighten children and make everyone else nervous.

6. With any sedative there is a specific, roomy gap between smoothing-out and self-destruction. There is no self-destructiveness without the destruction of others. We are not alone.

7. Naturally there are special occasions. When you get older like me, it’s once a month, if that.

8. It’s hard to determine pathology in a society in which everything is pathological. The main content of our prayers should be for simple consciousness. The most important thing we can do is to find out what ails us and fix it. Often we need outside counsel, for clarity and to speed up the process. (I’ve had more than 20 years with my mind doctor).

9. A lot of overdrinking comes from feeling bad physically. One over-drinks to feel better in physiological terms. This can be avoided by vitamins, exercise, and a reasonable diet. Again, it’s a cycle: Overdrinking causes overdrinking because you feel bad.

10. Another source of the problem is the unreasonable expectations we get from others and ourselves. Unreasonable expectations can be removed by thinking them over. They can’t be “drownt” pure and simple. Everyone can’t get to the top, or even the middle.

11. Oddly enough, our main weapons in controlling drinking are humor and lightness. The judgment of others and self-judgment (stern) are both contraindicated. When we fuck up, we mentally beat ourselves up. It doesn’t work at all and has to be expunged. The reason to slow down is to feel better, and it works real good.

12.You begin by cutting it all by a third. After a few weeks you go down to a half. After that your soul will tell you, when you listen. Often it is simply a matter of one drink too many.

13. We need always to separate the problem of virtue from the problem of lack of control. Certain countries — France, for example — drink more alcohol but have fewer problems. This is partly due to the predominance of wine, which has less of a stun-gun effect on behavior, but also because drinking isn’t connected to virtue or nonvirtue. It is a practical problem. Drinking has to be strictly self-controlled the moment it negatively affects our character and behavior.

http://www.mensjournal.com/food-drink/articles/jim-harrisons-13-rules-for-drinking-w200622

Don’t worry…Academics related. I have attached the prompt for your review. But here is some context and then a few questions to help me write this paper.

We are study Generations and the labels, assumptions, stereotypes, characteristics, etc that come with them. Additionally, the course is comparative in nature with moments for reflection after, so painting a picture of the differences from your perspectives is important.

Howe and Strauss are referenced in the prompt. Feel free to look of there hypothesis. It breaks down into a four part cycle between all generations.
Civic Generations, the Hero
Adaptive Generations, the Artist
Idealist Generations, the Prophet
Reactive Generation, the Nomad
Mainly, please help me answerer these questions and others you deem appropriate. This is due tomorrow so a quick turn around would be much appreciated
What generation do you consider yourself? Mature – senior citizen – how unbecoming.
What are unique characteristics of your generation? Sizeable majority willing to put selves on the line for political and cultural movements – civil rights, opposing the war in Indochina. Probably made a difference though of course those older than us called the shots. Jail, physical abuse and attacks, verbal abuse and shunning, financial and educational sacrifices, some deaths. Don’t see the same potential in the upcoming generation now in their 20s, despite causes worth fighting for and perhaps more – the systematic destruction of species, environments (mangrove forests, ocean reefs, rivers and watersheds, farmland, tropical forests, temperate forests, aquifers, the atmosphere, lakes and indeed oceans); the cynical use of faiths and creeds as cover for sociopaths to pursue power through cruelty and murder; the obscene robbery of property, value, culture from the great many to the tyrannical self-absorbed tiny minority facilitated by their well-kept political and media prostitutes in the guise of patriotism and progress and in the service of greed never before seen; the pharmaceutical/medical/political cabal that swallows up the lives and livelihoods of the many while depriving them of health care and health; the bombing of hospitals and mosques and churches and schools by US, Russian, French, Canadian, British air forces and the whole obscene concept of “collateral damage” – and the systematic numbing of minds with hours per day on video games, endless narcissistic facebook, twitter, twattle and other mindless and meaningless postings of what I think about that fashion or that iPhone or that actress and her affairs or that musician’s drug use or that hair style or that latest diet and exercise and supplement and self-actualization guru or….
What are unique characteristics about yourself? Well-read. Passionate. Giving. Interested in what you say and think and not just in turning the conversation over to what I say and think. Willing to act as if the planet and our species has a hope in hell when there’s lots of evidence to the contrary, instead of “oh, well” and making feeling good a justification for living. Opinionated for sure but do the work to study and learn. Trust that God is Love and that anything that contradicts that is BS, period, that love conquers all fear and that fear is the enemy of love, of God, including the fear spouted from pulpits and other stages to scare people into behaving themselves to avoid going to hell instead of inspiring people to trust in the transforming power of love so we are enabled to do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.
Are you mainly similar or different from your generation; are you mainstream or abnormal? Not unique but statistically I think I’m highly abnormal in many of my beliefs and ways of living; prior to recovery I was wildly abnormal in drug use yet sadly normal in self-centredness, selfishness and self-reliance.
What are your opinions of my generation? I know many young people whom I admire very much and who inspire me immensely. They seem to me to be highly abnormal as well in that they don’t devote themselves to hedonistic escapes and self-indulgences and turn their backs on reality and the terrible processes and events around them; they are curious, open, confident yet humble, enthusiastic, willing to be vulnerable despite being betrayed and let down, willing to sacrifice for others without expectation of return, eager to learn, well-read, amazing to me and I want to protect and encourage and comfort and inspire them all. Sadly, I think the majority of this generation has been cowed by fear of not measuring up to the expectations of others/financial insecurity/not looking good enough or having enough or controlling enough or being numbed enough. Not surprising. It’s a scary world in a scary time and the value of oneself is no longer defined by one’s character and hard work and compassion and wisdom but by baubles (human and otherwise) and bombast and the reification of stupidity and ignorance, which is not accidental – how better to subjugate and to profit from the overwhelming masses than to disparage anything they can achieve by their hard work, character, diligence and sacrifice and exalt image and possessions and power as the only qualities worth living for?
Do you see trends in generations as we progress through time? Generation before mine – loyalty, hard work, endurance, don’t object to status quo, stay fed and sheltered and clothed and keep your kids fed and sheltered and clothed, excessive obeisance to authority and trust in leaders. My generation – mix of noble motivations and perspectives with degenerate “feel good” drug-induced and other escapisms but still each of us responsible for our own lives and effort. Not so willing to trust in leaders including religious authorities. Not so willing to sacrifice or determined to make a difference. Not so automatically devoted to offspring, including not so willing to endure the emotional pain of teaching them values and responsibility and consequences – many exceptions and probably not the majority, but my generation was the first to reject parental responsibility – and marital commitment – openly and even flamboyantly. Not against progress or change. Just against irresponsibility and self-indulgence and disrespect of the spiritual principles exalted for at least 5,000 years in every culture and creed and faith.
Biggest moments of your generation? Legal victories in Civil Rights Movement and their transformative effects in the lives of millions of people. Assassination of Rev. Martin Luther King. The Filmore West, Otis Redding, Phil Ochs’s suicide, the US destroying democracy and hundreds of thousands of lives in Latin America and elsewhere, the cynical fascism of the USSR in Angola, Cuba, Afghanistan, eastern Europe; the fall of the Berlin Wall and dissolution of the USSR, the US deposing the government of Iran and installing its puppet Shah, the US giving Saddam Hussein the means to wage gas warfare and other weapons in an 8-year war against the Soviet-backed Iranian despots and funding and arming the mujahedeen in Afghanistan vs. the Soviets who then became the Taliban who then bombed the World Trade Center after which the US invaded Iraq which had zero weapons of mass destruction and no role in 9/11; the Chilean 9/11 of 1973 in which the US deposed the democratically elected socialist government of Salvador Allende and replaced it with the fascist Pinochet regime that murdered its poets and union leaders and workers and made Chile safe for US business, Victor Jara’s life and music and heart and spirit and his murder in the National Stadium in Santiago, Greenpeace, the end of commercial whaling, CITES, abortion made legal, the refusal of the UN (due to the refusal of the US to call it genocide) to prevent 800,000 brutal murders in Rwanda because after all who really cares about black people, the genocide in the Balkans, AIDs and advances in its treatment, Biafra, liberation theology, the Six-Day War, the music of Phil Ochs and Leonard Cohen, Amnesty International and Mededins sans Frontieres and Oxfam and Jane Goodall and Dian Fossey and Malcolm X and Nelson Mandela…
What big moments did we share? The Big Short. The end of Apartheid. The debacles of Iraq, Afghanistan, Egypt, Libya, the Congo, the Ukraine. Disasters in Nepal, Indonesia, New Orleans. People actively caring for each other without expectation of return, forgiving the unforgivable, sacrificing comfort and possessions and security selflessly, coaching kids in their neighbourhoods, staffing food banks as volunteers, cleaning up toxic spills, restoring wetlands, rescuing and treating injured wildlife, ecumenism, tolerance, love.

#1 We are the silent generation. #2 Conformity during formative years post ww2, peace, jobs, TV, happiness, cars,rock& roll, civil rights movement, women stayed home to raise children, if they worked it was as teacher, nurse or secretary. men pledged loyalty to their employer, once u had a job it was for life. Marriage is for life, divorce and and out of wedlock babies were not accepted. Big band swing music.#3.Disciplined,self sacrificing,polite,respect authority,belief in God. #4. I am mainstream.#5.Your generation is self absorbed, lacks respect for authority, too casual in attire, too casual when it comes to drugs,alcohol,sex and very short on religion.Pro sports athletes and entertainers are your role models and most emphasis on instant gratification. All of the latter results in making our culture more crass.#6. Trend lines blurred. Major value systems,culture, religion national character have been dumbed down. Our generation traits that were important were duty,honor,country and they have been supplanted be the me,me,me generation currently.#7. Biggest moments 1925-1945, won WW2, capitalism spurred the rise of the middle class.#8. Share love of Country, industrial revolution, cure polio, medical breakthroughs- cures for measles,chicken pox,diptheria, open heart surgery, fast foods,bottled water, joint replacement. Pet supply stores, big box stores, full service gas stations now self service, specialized medicine Vrs family doctor.Cloth diapers Vrs throw away diapers today. Microwave,hot tubs exercise facilities.Internet. Let us know your grade on this report.Cheers, Poppie

http://cooking.nytimes.com/guides/19-how-to-cook-salmon?utm_source=Facebook_Paid&utm_medium=social&utm_content=Guides&utm_campaign=kwp&kwp_0=128857&kwp_4=586800&kwp_1=306568

Helicopter Parents vs. Free Range Parents
Its not an either/or. Its a little bit of both Middle ground –

Didnt want to choke you on a bunch of extra-curricular activities but Rule #1 in HS is 3 sports Freshman year and then you can dial it back from there; however, if not playing a seasonal sport, you gotta be involved in something substantive.

Feel the burn. Stove
Feets dont fail me now. Cleats
Be late

Great Papa Charlton – His #1 life lesson after living 100 years – Attitude is Everything.

Charles Swindoll’s “Attitude”.

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company … a church … a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude … I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you … we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

Einstein – “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.”

EO How can you be depressed? You’re the most positive guy in this group. Snap out of it.

Rich Man, Poor Man > Rich Dad, Poor Dad
Max Strategy (Experiments Never Fail, etc)
Napolean Hill

Lesson 1: Definiteness of Purpose
Definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement. Without a purpose and a plan, people drift aimlessly through life.

Lesson 2: Mastermind Alliance
The Mastermind principle consists of an alliance of two or more minds working in perfect harmony for the attainment of a common definite objective. Success does not come without the cooperation of others.

Lesson 3: Applied Faith
Faith is a state of mind through which your aims, desires, plans and purposes may be translated into their physical or financial equivalent.

Lesson 4: Going the Extra Mile
Going the extra mile is the action of rendering more and better service than that for which you are presently paid. When you go the extra mile, the Law of Compensation comes into play.

Lesson 5: Pleasing Personality
Personality is the sum total of one’s mental, spiritual and physical traits and habits that distinguish one from all others. It is the factor that determines whether one is liked or disliked by others.

Lesson 6: Personal Initiative
Personal initiative is the power that inspires the completion of that which one begins. It is the power that starts all action. No person is free until he learns to do his own thinking and gains the courage to act on his own.

Lesson 7: Positive Mental Attitude
Positive mental attitude is the right mental attitude in all circumstances. Success attracts more success while failure attracts more failure.

Lesson 8: Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm is faith in action. It is the intense emotion known as burning desire. It comes from within, although it radiates outwardly in the expression of one’s voice and countenance.

Lesson 9: Self-Discipline
Self-discipline begins with the mastery of thought. If you do not control your thoughts, you cannot control your needs. Self-discipline calls for a balancing of the emotions of your heart with the reasoning faculty of your head.

Lesson 10: Accurate Thinking
The power of thought is the most dangerous or the most beneficial power available to man, depending on how it is used.

Lesson 11: Controlled Attention
Controlled attention leads to mastery in any type of human endeavor, because it enables one to focus the powers of his mind upon the attainment of a definite objective and to keep it so directed at will.

Lesson 12: Teamwork
Teamwork is harmonious cooperation that is willing, voluntary and free. Whenever the spirit of teamwork is the dominating influence in business or industry, success is inevitable. Harmonious cooperation is a priceless asset that you can acquire in proportion to your giving.

Lesson 13: Adversity & Defeat
Individual success usually is in exact proportion of the scope of the defeat the individual has experienced and mastered. Many so-called failures represent only a temporary defeat that may prove to be a blessing in disguise.

Lesson 14: Creative Vision
Creative vision is developed by the free and fearless use of one’s imagination. It is not a miraculous quality with which one is gifted or is not gifted at birth.

Lesson 15: Health
Sound health begins with a sound health consciousness, just as financial success begins with a prosperity consciousness.

Lesson 16: Budgeting Time & Money
Time and money are precious resources, and few people striving for success ever believe they possess either one in excess.

Lesson 17: Habits
Developing and establishing positive habits leads to peace of mind, health and financial security. You are where you are because of your established habits and thoughts and deeds.

My knees buckled at the sight of your mom as she stepped inside that tiny church on that tiny island. An island where we’ve made some great family memories with more to come. Mom radiated happiness and calmness as she walked up the aisle on Walter’s arm, her smile, blond streaked hair and suntanned shoulders, the beautiful hand-me-down dress from Beth, the engagement ring from your Great Grammy Charlton and the borrowed pearls from Aunt Peanut took on a magical glow as the southwest Florida sunshine flowed through the open doors and back-lit our scene. Never before and never since has something literally taken my breath away. (Well maybe with the exception of that lacrosse game against Medina when Coop stripped Shell in the final seconds for the win!) In minutes we would be married, your uncles would be ringing the church bell and that happy photo on me and mom that hangs in our bedroom would be snapped.

25 years later, Mom and I sat in the same church on Christmas Eve, surrounded by you three guys! One rounding third and heading for graduation at Michigan, one getting ready to start a gap year and another a rising sophomore in high school. This book is written for each of you.

My goal in writing this is to give you something you can “edit vs. create”. As you strive to position yourselves for personal, professional and profitable success, think of this book as just another resource to turn to. Think Gestalt – shared family stories that might help you see a way forward as you prep for a new opportunity or wrestle with a new challenge. Blessed with ADD chemistry, you know I believe in the pursuit of progress, not perfection. As such, these pages are much more reflective than prescriptive. Its a catalog of what worked, what didnt or what we simply stumbled upon as Mom and I partnered as parents.

I’ll share our philosophies, vision, mission, strategies and the tips, tricks and techniques we used to raise the three of you. Lessons learned? You bet! We made some big mistakes, boatloads more on my part than Mom. Will I take an unflinching look at my character defects? You bet.

Are they true stories? All I can say is it’s true these are stories and with age I’ve probably gotten some of the details wrong. At the end of the day, will this book be useful to you? As experiments never fail, you’ll get the blessin’s, lesson’s or both! The power of the “And”.

Love, Dad
2016

Fascinated by the process actually. Paul Rieser wrote a few advise type books about parenthood back in the day….. A little lighter tone than you might be aiming for but if you check em out you may find a little help with ‘the voice’….also if you and Susan are going to overtly share your unique takes, ‘Younger Next Year’ co authored by a physician and a patient cum advocate….they alternate chapters…while covering topics from their frame of reference. Also see Larry Czonka and backfield mate Jim Kiick who co wrote a book about their exploits in Miami, one in regular type the other in italics, so you knew the unique voice as you read…

Jim – You’re the best! Thanks for helping a kid out! Sam promises to pay it back by paying it fwd to another kid when he’s in your position.

Sam, I’d like you to meet Jim Barsella – Jim knows my family well and I coached his high-achieving son in lacrosse way back when. Jim, I’d like you to meet a sharp kid looking to learn from other’s success, Sam Distler.

I will get out of the middle and let you two take it from here. The ball is in Sam’s court to reach out to Jim based on the days/times Jim has provided below.

Peace

Introverts and small talk…“Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people,” she writes in her book. “We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.” People who are introverted tend to prefer substantial conversations about philosophy and ideas rather than chit-chat. In fact, introverts can get easily intimidated, bored or exhausted by small talk. They’d much rather be real with someone and talk about more weighty topics.”

http://idealist4ever.com/the-real-reason-introverts-absolutely-hate-small-talk/

I am fine with both. Small talk is what Malinowski called phatic communion: a way to signal ongoing good will.

Dought n faith not mutually exclusive

Depression
Substance abuse

Secrets kept by children and or family
Our son’s illness, when we finally became aware of it, was a magnitude 8 earthquake in our lives that came without any warning. It was a calm and beautiful day in July when I found him the first time he tried to end his life at age 21. The mechanics of saving him, calling 911, unlocking and opening the door for the rescue team, calling my husband, and following Jonathan’s ambulance to the hospital all happened on autopilot. The moments at the hospital crawled as I waited to hear whether my son would live and with what possible damage, and wondered in complete ignorance and fear what the next steps would be.

How could this possibly be happening? How was it possible that I, who had spent countless hours talking with Jonathan, didn’t realize the trouble he was in?

He made it through that episode alive and with minimal impairment to his body. Once out of the hospital he appeared to be the same Jonathan that he always was: kind, loving, caring, bright, engaging, witty. He begged us not to tell anyone what happened—not that he needed to. Of course we would keep this a secret, for so many reasons. We didn’t want to have our son labeled “crazy”; we didn’t want him to endure any comments or knowing glances from well-meaning people. We were private people who never revealed our innermost issues to anyone outside our family. And we certainly didn’t want our son to feel exposed.

Without realizing it, by keeping this secret, we validated Jonathan’s feeling of shame. Not only would he have to battle his illness, he would bear the burden of shame about it as well. From this point on, our family would have to present an outside face to the world that did not represent our inner reality. We didn’t comprehend the gargantuan weight we would assume with this decision. Would we have acted the same way had Jonathan been diagnosed with cancer, gastrointestinal illness, severe cardiac illness, or diabetes? Absolutely not. Ask me now and I will tell you that I wish I had shouted it from the rooftop, done anything, taken out an ad in The New York Times: “My son has a devastating mental illness. Can someone, anyone, offer me some advice to save his life?

http://www.kveller.com/opening-up-about-my-sons-suicide/?utm_content=buffer88250&utm_medium=social&utm_source=kvellerfacebook&utm_campaign=buffer

cross between Lt. Col. Wilbur “Bull” Meechum, aka “The Great Santini” and fred rogers / dr wayne dyer
bill moyers pbs joseph campbell

jerry garcia and richard nixon (pre-watergate)

Mic – I wish I had packed “Seasons of a Man’s Life” into your knapsack. Timely reading for you in Kenya, pre-college, pre-career with time to think deep and meaningful thoughts..

In short there are, based on research, identifiable stages in a man’s life that with awareness, can help you (or any young adult) think through a life plan / vision. This is the crux of the book.Its not rocket science but proven research thats easy to absorb..

While you haven’t read the book, I sense the timing is right to highlight a perspective as you marinate, percolate and ruminate on your business ideas and your life in general.

Specifically, I sense in the case of Cooper – and possibly you, there might be an “either / or” mental model framing how you are looking at things as you build the foundation for personal, professional and profitable success. I think much in life can benefit from the “Power of the And” (a great philosophy developed by the business consultant and author Jim Collins (good to great, built to last).

A blend of both, like mom and me in you or a nice salad with oil & vinegar, might be a more powerful way to think through choices. As in I can either do A or I can do B leads to “but not both”. Why the fuck not?!…why not a blend of both.

While it may have been a throw-away comment, I heard recently Coop frame his career decision as “I can either take the money by working in sales OR do something more meaningful with my life.” Why not both? You’ve got a job you are really good at AND you take some of that money and do good with it. Think the founder of Patagonia, Yvon Chinouard

As you’ve heard me say over the years, finding a job that hits the trifecta where you are passionate about it AND a master at it AND create real wealth with it is a long-shot. Not impossible….but a long long shot.

Consider, taking a professionally challenging, profitably rewarding day job, AND then to feed the soul & spirit personally, use some of your earnings to do “good” – volunteer, philanthropic deeds, mentoring, etc.

Example of the college years season (not pushing this plan, just illustrative) – sketching out your next 4 academic years and the respective 3 summers. Over next 4 years you could be a pre-med/business major, playing club soccer and lacrosse and have a start-up based on your idea #4 in your last email. During this time of your life you are focused on your JOB (school), with an eye towards a future career with internships, stay active and healthy w/out the varsity time commitments playing soccer and lax, consult rising HS seniors and their parents for gap years and wind up having a very full and rewarding collegiate career. Maybe as you matriculate, drop one of the sports as junior or senior so you can dive deeper into internships or take summer volunteer trips, either funded in part my Mrs Willen’s Live Like Ally Foundation (good on ya!) and/or earnings from your Gap Year Planning business, book sales, gap year funding site commissions, etc..

The family years season: Like Michael Todd, after an investment of many dollars and years at school, you could, for the next 50-60 years have a rewarding career in medicine (business side, clinical side or a little of both as the years and your interest change and opportunities arise), be there for your kids and wife and community where you live, easily afford to go on exciting trips to do good, not just chill on a beach. Keep Neah home(s) well maintained and the watercraft well oiled! I’m thinking Mrs. Nye’s life relative to the volunteering trips to Haiti.

Customize your world with the power of the AND while keeping in mind the predictable seasons of a man’s life! I love hearing that you are using the time to think the deep and meaningful thoughts about the life life you want to create for yourself and your future family.

Peace

Love Dad

whats the context?

helicopter parent AND a laissez faire parent

Mat Wilson to Doc and everything inbetween (Hill, scholarship to UM, SAAC, CSG, WSN)

thank your trees
arbor day

Make decision
Take action
Get results
May not be the result hoped for but
Lesson, blessin

Anyone can be an asshole for 24 hours

Nancy Ballantine Bell 93, died February 11, 2016, in Louisville.

Born on Green River in Calhoun, KY in 1923, Nancy was the youngest and last surviving of eight children of Wilmot Bewley and Tilden Hendriks Ballantine. Her family was distinguished: her father operated the toll ferry across Green River; her mother was the first woman in McLean County to hold a driver’s license. During the flood of 1937 they moved to the second floor, where from the landing she and her sister made daily assessments of the room arrangement as the piano floated across the living room.

After high school Nancy attended college in Bowling Green, then worked for the FBI during the war. In 1944 she married John Bell, a Navy doctor from Hopkinsville, after a year of correspondence arranged by their sisters. When he completed his residency in New York they moved to Louisville, where they raised five children.

She was a delegate to the 1968 Democratic convention in Chicago, served on the Kentucky Council on Higher Education, and was a long-time supporter and board member for Wellspring.

Nancy loved bridge, cross-word puzzles, a well-crafted letter, Lake Michigan, and dogs. She loved politics, FDR and John Kennedy, Nixon not so much. Through her final days she loved the people she encountered and the stories of their lives.

Nancy was preceded by her son John in 1968, son-in-law Tom McKune in 2007, and husband John in 2008. She is survived by four children, Jane, Walter, David, and Victor; and nine grandchildren, who will miss her dearly.

The Bell Family wishes to thank the able and forever-patient staff at Treyton Oak Towers. They were genuine friends to Nancy and to her family. A memorial celebration of her life is planned for April.

Assemblying a collection

“We’re carefully assembling a dream list of chefs, operators, street food and hawker legends
from around the world in hopes of bringing them together in one New York City space.”

—Anthony Bourdain

Michael Botticelli: I often say that substance use is one of the last diseases where we’d let people reach their most acute phase of this disorder before we offer them intervention. You’ve heard the phrase “hitting bottom.” Well, we don’t say that with any other disorder. So the medical community has a key role to play in terms of doing a better job of identifying people in the early stages of their disease, in doing a better job at treating people who have this disorder.

Notice that word: “disorder,” Botticelli prefers it to “addiction.” He wants to lift the stigma by changing the language as he did this past October in a rally on the National Mall.

Full story

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/60-minutes-a-new-direction-on-drugs/

Owner of bruins commissioned future of sports/football. Usa today article. Referenced seasons

Im grateful i’m qualified to be in this room.

The program works

Keep coming back

Diarrhea

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/my-dear-son-this-is-how-to-treat-a-woman-dg/

Good pasta

http://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1017304-cacio-e-pepe?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur

Dialogue is born from an attitude of respect for the other person, from a conviction that the other person has something good to say. It assumes that there is room in the heart for the person’s point of view, opinion, and proposal. Dialogue entails a cordial reception, not a prior condemnation. In order to dialogue it is necessary to know how to lower the defenses, open the doors of the house, and offer human warmth.

http://www.driftersfish.com/gravlax

http://www.gnolls.org/tag/gravlax/

https://www.instagram.com/p/-xT1WmyODM/

Compulsion… an irresistible urge to behave in a certain way, especially against one’s conscious wishes.

“It was just one drink. It was just one toke. Cant remember if it was the thirteenth or fourteenth”, so said one author

Nikki lane “look away”

https://youtu.be/qaPKh0X-zD0

https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/11/04/when-the-second-year-of-widowhood-is-harder/

Seems few things in life are just one thing and not combinations. But Yup the root cause is Genes. As in gene pool. Its a disease, sista☺

As far a triggers I’ve never relapsed and when i drank i drank and drugged solid for 22 years with no breaks.

I wasnt molested, i was loved by my parents unconditionally, i have great supportive friends, i was a successful athlete and while i struggled academically, life was a pretty good as in good time charlie.

But it all started at 18 when a mixed drink felt so good at making me not feel socially awkward….and coupled with my positive gene for substance abuse, i guess there you have my trigger…social anxiety

They are unfortunate to live in an era in which the normal mistakes of youth are unusually visible. To keep the focus where it belongs I won’t be naming any of them here.

Such a great book — and such an unusual sport … definitely lots of pain, but Lyon says that that feeling of rowing in sync with your fellow oarsmen is surreally cool — and that when everything’s clicking, you feel like you’re flying!!

My guess is dna (papa d, mike todd, uncle ed and odie ems), odie telling him all his life he has hands of a surgeon and with genetics, big data, info tech, smart phones devices, pharma and personalized medicine, the future looks fairly bright for personal, professional and profitable success somewhere in the field of medicine and the internet of things

Hey Mic – I have not done a very job communicating my guidance to you on DIII schools during your college search. I do love, admire and am so proud you are looking at the money/debt/ROI factor of each and every college/university. But don’t rule out the expensive DIII’s just yet;-)

I’m deeply grateful for all the kind words of sympathy and condolence that people have been sending in these past two days.
Thank you.

Gertrude Woodard Taylor (1921-2015) was the daughter of a Massachusetts fisherman and the wife of a North Carolina doctor. She devoted her life to her marriage and her five children, four boys and a girl, all born in the span of six years between 1947 and 1953.

Always reconciling

Always renewing

8 weeks to optimum health (only a teeny tiny bit related to SA)

Power of habit is another key book that helped

So too are 3 autobiographies…Lit, Drinking- A love story and a drinking life – a memoir

The last 2 i read the night before i quit for good and Lit helped me laugh may way through some stressful periods when i could have relapsed. Lit is a hilarious horror story hoot

Annies blog

at time scaring his family. devastating. there were definitely times when wasn’t sure if she might harm herself or me or somebody

open, thoughtful self-reflection after bad experiences. Commit to change ends up as espoused theories when habit begins again

INTERVIEWER

When did you start praying?

MARY KARR

When I got sober, in 1989—twenty years ago now. Only with prayer could I stop drinking for more than a day or two. Once I made three months clean, but it was a white-knuckled horror show. Call it self-hypnosis, prayer, whatever. To skeptics I say, Just try it. Pray every day for thirty days. See if your life gets better. If it doesn’t, tell me I’m an asshole. People tend to judge a faith’s value based on its dogma, which ignores religion in practice. It’s like believing if you watch enough porn or read enough gynecology books, you’ll know about pussy. For me, being a Catholic is a set of activities. Certain dogma seems nuts to me too. I’m not the Pope’s favorite Catholic.

Good design

Less is more

Clean

Simple

Efficient

http://story.siz.io/post/87095517677/bill-murray-crashes-bachelor-party-gives-awesome

Allergy of the body

Obsession of the mind

Feel better. Stop

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/comic-riffs/wp/2015/08/11/one-year-after-robin-williamss-death-a-d-c-humorist-illuminates-mental-illness/

http://m.fastcompany.com/3049322/how-to-be-a-success-at-everything/8-master-strategies-for-public-speaking

Load out jackson browne

the ladies at the lax tourney

who was the one to get the drinking started

was the last one standing

was the one who went out looking for more when it was all gone

was the one who threw up, wiped off and kept on drinking

wedding night

dui’s

car crashes

wedding night

pregnancy

all manner of boorish behavior

broke hand

choked

Funny, my xx just flew to Utah last night. He shared with me that he was nervous and mentioned a few days ago that it was going to be strange traveling to a place where he knew no one… bless their hearts, they are growing up. He landed in Salt Lake City last night at11pm. Had to navigate a cab because there were no Uber cars available at that hour… made it to where he needed to go. Sent a pic of his temporary dorm room saying “am I in jail? very depressing”. I reassured him it’s just a place to sleep and that I hope he would do that well;). I’m sure the next 6 days are going to be challenging for him as he goes through orientation today and tomorrow and then onto the swoop camp Wed-Sat. These are all great growing opportunities for our kiddos. God bless them everyone!!!

Hmmmm….when I first read your email my mind went blank. If I had to choose, leaning towards “no, he didn’t really own the drinking incident.”

alcohol washes out even more. morning after is sunday morning coming down all day

http://guykawasaki.com/the_102030_rule/

Fwd:Just sent to …  Fwd:At Jeff Durrs office for some counseling.  Jeff just shared with mic all anxiety comes from thinking about future – he’s been having anxiety attacks.   One day, one task at a time he advised. As much as one can, be present – a gift to yourself

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/7636384?cps=gravity_3967_1685606696129158968

many wait to discuss sex, drugs and other issues at a certain date

talk about it when it comes up…commercials, movies, magazines, etc

not sure yet.
might take one with him on bus or
get him out there and he can get lay of land/sand and think through borrowing/renting/buying/stealing (haha) bike on island
gap year all about enhancing and accelerating growth triggered by kid “being on his own” and responsible for advocating/playing outside his comfort zone…bumps, bruises and all.
instead of a PG dorm room and the structure of a 5th year at the hill academy with the Merrill’s, mic’s will be a gap year shed and the structure of a 5th year at fishers island oyster with sarah and steve

Mike and Wayne

Thanks for sharing your sons with us. Relieved to get them back to you in one piece. A couple more NC shark attacks yesterday. A quick recap of the week follows.

Did your sons mind their Ps-n-Qs? Yes. Kerrie, Suzanne and Ann Landers would be proud
Did your sons behave like gentlemen? Yes, sir
Did your sons offer to help out whenever & wherever they could? Yes, maam
Did your sons “enjoy themselves”? Without question, yes sir, officer;-)
Did your sons build as well as resurrect / refortify new and old friendships? For shore
Did your sons make some good memories? Hoo-ah!
Was it a treat for the parents to watch the boys play together? A big treat
Hug ‘em tight.
You two dads, along with their moms, have raised two great sons!
From what we saw and heard, your sons are ready for the next step ….are you? Haha. Break out the hankies and good luck holding back the tears;-)

Hi Walker and James (and Michael),

We have been pre occupied with the upcoming wedding, so this is coming later than I intended. My intention is to send this missive with both love and firmness. There is no wiggle room.

Before the summer gets away from us….. we would like to firm up the chores for the summer. The major chore we are going to ask of you (James and Walker) is to scrape, sand and prime the end of the house facing the water (our bedroom and the side of the house above it). The painters out here said that it would take two of their guys 2 1/2 days to do it and estimated it would take two college kids 5 days. We would like this job done by August 9. But feel free to get it done earlier so you can enjoy your summer.

Smaller scale chore. Both our yard and our neighbors’ yard need 2 more lawn mows and weed wacker attention before Michael takes over yard work mid July. One of those mows has to be this Tuesday after work prior to the wedding weekend. No weed wacking necessary in our yard. But weed wacking done in the Essenlohr’s yard. A thorough job will take you 3 hours. The 2nd lawn mow has to be done by July 2nd. James and Walker, please decide between yourselves who will do which one, or whether you will work together.

Everyday chores. Counting on the shed people to keep their bathroom (guest bath) clean at all times. All your beauty products kept in your dob kits in the cupboard, your wet towels hung up in your sheds or on your own laundry lines that you set up near your sheds. Your shower (the outdoor shower) neat and tidy – put empty containers in recycling, etc. (Bathroom in the new addition is off limits as of today). If you are looking for privacy, there is always the workers bathroom in the kennel.

Smallest chores for James and Walker. Just guessing that in general you will be the last in in the evenings. Please make sure all lights are turned off and there are no wet dishes on the wooden counters around the sink.

If you are looking for extra ways to help the operation run smoothly, there are usually dishes to deal with. Please learn where things belong and jump in to empty and load the dishwasher, etc. Also hanging out with our grandchildren outside will always warm our hearts!

The most important summer rule: NO DRINKING AND DRIVING. We suggest that if you need a truck to move wood for camp fires, do so, then bring them back and ride your bike to wherever you plan to be for the evening. Michael – bring a bike. If you have a car, you cannot bring it to the island – it must be left on the mainland.

Our work trucks are available for your use, as unimpressive as they are, keep in mind that every one of them is important to our operation. (Also, because we are concerned for your health and are conscious of our carbon footprint – we always prefer you ride a bike, instead of use a truck).

Other important rules: No underage drinking, sex (underage or otherwise) and no drugs on the premises. We are not personally opposed to any of these things, but this is a multi-generational household and we do not want any confusion or questions. We have raised 6 kids and we are worn out!

We need to count on the people associated with us to be safe, compassionate, and smart. And kind and considerate to everyone you meet. We are friends with everyone on the island and count on you to also be friendly to everyone you meet. Our good friends work in the gas stations, post office, grocery store, ferry, etc. This is a small island. Everything you do reflects back on us.

Michael, you can count on 4 hours of yard work a week in trade for your room and board. Aside from the lawn mowing there will be invasive species pulling. We are a chemical and fertilizer  free property and aim to be part of the nature corridor. to that end, we are trying to eliminate all invasive species and encourage native plants and trees that promote species diversity and health. This requires constant vigilance!

Steve, am I missing anything?

The most important person to keep happy is me.  A good rule of thumb, if you are ever wondering whether or not you are doing the right thing, recognize that you are probably considering doing the wrong thing.

We are looking forward to a productive summer for everyone.

xo

Sarah

Shiva

Siesmic….divorce, cancer, nervous breakdowns, alcoholism

but also ordinary…..marriage, babies and sometimes even contentment

Charges plugged into wall.

A possible real model of a ling-term sustaianable system

http://www.vice.com/read/remarkable-messes-0000671-v22n6?utm_source=vicefbus

to make the design clean and simple

….i cant change scene in forest gump

PF…Time

http://www.theepochtimes.com/n3/inspired/1324492-awesome-time-saving-diy-breakfast-hack/

ditto eggs n basket. butter in pan. swirl bread one side and flip. add egg. salt pepper. flip. add cheddar cheese

temps dark n stormy with a side of oysters

egg in a basket

pasta carbonara

flank steak/hanger steak

pesto pasta

skyline

winking lizard

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/04/22/dining/conquering-the-fear-of-cooking-fish.html?referrer=

virtual assistant

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/neil-degrasse-tyson-astrophysicist-charlie-rose-60-minutes/

Silverman 2013 FB post

stupid or ignorant?

I joke in the book that he got open and honest by the Henry Ford principle: any people driving together more than forty miles can’t help becoming comfortable.

David lipsky on david foster wallace

http://www.popmatters.com/column/191419-whats-not-to-love-about-the-trombone/

Library and photo albums

bang & olufsen

mrs b upstairs with migraine

latin lesson all finished

Netflix great

I’ll take mushrooms

French, english and swearing

Ok. I was just able to watch… This “nostalgia” is something I deal with on a regular basis — especially now that my kids are flying the nest… Bitter sweet life is.

XO

On Mar 2, 2015, at 3:08 PM,

I was helping our high school senior discover there’s wisdom in packing in as much living as he can in his early years. 

Sidebar: he is deferring college and taking a Gap year 2015-2016. He is working on assembling a broad array of internships, jobs, shadow sessions and volunteer gigs. Being a very young 18 yr old, it has him way outside his comfort zone and he’s a little tentative on saying yes to some new things, people and experiences.

Anyways, “nostalgia” came to mind. My feeble attempt at parenting came up with the more he can pack into these wonder years (14-25 or thereabouts), all the more to dine and wax nostalgic on when he is older (great reruns as it were). This Mad Men scene about the Kodak Carousel proved to be a handy illustrator of the point.

The video clip got me thinking about Robby. Made me think of you guys.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=disco+biscuits

I remember this wise quote from team 1 days with cooper, mom and me. And it now it helps guide Mic, mom and me on team 2 and eventually max, mom and dad on team 3. When life gets confusing, annoying and overwhelming…..

Trust in the process and keep the faith. The latter being so eloquently conveyed below by MLK.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
– Martin Luther King Jr.

Oh, and be sure each day to laugh your ass off and shred a tear or two (joy or pain doesn’t matter). JimmyV said it best….

“If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.”

Love you guys.

Bets – Dad

https://www.evernote.com/shard/s239/sh/c64f75a4-f82f-40ed-ad4c-5a3c203fca89/a219cb0e08f551c03f02a28512ced001

learning and synapse drinking

marijuana has different aspect of the teenage brain than the adult brain

stress…during teen years. Wired up for future life

Pot blocks learning and memory

Silent diseases like depression n addiction get started in adi

full-fledged adulthood mid-thirties

dr yansine. The teenage brain

Synapses being conditioned

Physiological response. Spread arms and be big trigger serotonin changes…confidence.

That said, EO forum saying snap out of it doesn’t work on depression

In the quote below, if you substitute “young adult” (age 14-25) for “the country”, you have, I believe, a recipe that, if pursued now, will help position each of you for great personal, professional and profitable success as an adult…life at 25 and older. The key is now, between the ages of 14-25, keep trying things, keep experimenting. Keep pushing yourselves outside your current comfort zones.

“The country needs, and unless I mistake its temper, the country demands bold, persistent experimentation. It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails admit it frankly and try another. But above all try something.”

another key area to start early on is saving and investing your money. The power of compound interest and divided reinvestment are a couple aspects. Congrats to mic for finally getting grammy to commit and purchase some stock, in this case the pharmaceutical Merck. Consider buying some more stock with the 18th birthday cash.

another perspective on which to marinate. Start with the obvious….you have a little bit of mom and a little bit of me in you.

on the whole i’ve never been much of a joiner. fraternities and clubs and associations are not really my scene…though I’ve been a member from time to time. i know myself well, though…i enjoy my solitary time but know when to step up and play the social game. i can make folks feel special and comfortable and be very engaging and fun to be around.

that said, i do spend a bunch of time in my own head. its where im most comfortable (other than with the four of you). i can while away the hours so contentedly thinking about all sorts of stuff. thinking, reading, thinking, writing down lists, drawing things.

i’m coming to my point…..like “love” is different at 51 than it was for me at 18, my identity to myself is different, too. as time marches on the adventures, activities and things done in youth take on an even greater color and importance for me. they become even more special and treasured memories and reflections of myself. Nostalgia.

a natural thing that happens to all humans as we age is we find ourselves yearning, longing for our youth….there’s a great Mad Men scene when don draper is selling the vision for a new ad campaign for the brand new piece of technology – the kodak carousel project – that scene speaks beautifully to this point that things done in youth take on even richer hues as you age. Nostalgia. thats why you want to pack as much living and experiences into your youth and young adulthood (14-25). You (and your spoyse and kuds) will “dine” on those memories the rest of your life

here’s my share: one thing i like about history is i played competitive sports in high school and college. i like how it helps define me as an athlete even when im too creaky to actively take the field. my regret is i didnt fully leverage my natural talents to work even harder to achieve even more leverage and success. but hey, thats a lesson learned. all the dad’s and all the moms who played sports share this same connection, feeling and powerful, healthy identity. we are all grateful that we played sports in college. again nostalgia.

connecting the dots: since we are related by blood and you have so many other relatives’ athletic and competitive dna coursing through you (grammy drohan for sure), please reconsider your decision not to play lacrosse in college…at least use it as leverage to get into a really great school for pre-med and then if it does indeed get in the way of studies, you can pull a Moose, like coop’s roommate at Michigan did.

peace

Heres a link to the mad men scene video
https://vimeo.com/14704686

“The country needs and unless I mistake its temper the country demands bold persistent experimentation. It is common sense to take a method and try it If it fails admit it frankly and try another. But above all try something.”

Fdr

Mcmurty

Experimentation

REM Green album

I wish there was some way to help him discover that getting back involved in lacrosse and using it as a tool to get into a really good school is a no brainer.

Squandering his natural resources that can me monetized via scholarship or allow him the extra edge to get admitted by an otherwise impenetrable admissions process with the help of the lacrosse coach

Ideally he would agree to play on the burning River Club this summer to get some exposure to some colleges talking to him and find a place to go to college even before he starts his his Gap year

Bob simmon 60 minute piece. Musical instruments made from trash. Pied piper of Paraguay

Landfillharmonic

Recycled orchestra

http://janeselephantparade.blogspot.com/2015/02/tiny-tin-buckets.html

An example of a Diverse life….actress, restaurateur piper perabo

http://jackswifefreda.com/

Sm
Dave matthews

follow your heart when choosing a spouse

use your head – will they be financially responsible and a good parent?

look for someone with similar values

put your relationship first

lighten up on in-law relationships

stay out of debt

focus on small things to keep spark alive

enjoy intimacy

respect each other

talk, talk, talk

tread carefully when discussing difficult topics

http://youtu.be/BlTCkNkfmRY

open, dont narrow, passages.

why is it often framed as all or nothing, good or bad, win or lose, this or that?

frame it with “i’m struggling with”…..

in times like these splintered and partisan times, with many adopting an approach that is “unflagging in adherence” to an ideology, faith gets trampled.

….open up, not narrow, the passage.

the “texture and terrain of scripture” is something to preserve, not flatten out or synthesize. embrace the contradiction.

Icy roads

http://www.buzzfeed.com/perpetua/amazing-nyc-places-that-actually-still-exist?s=mobile

http://www.russanddaughters.com/

Love you
Thinking of you
Looking forward to….

Evokes the lunch the boys and I had at south beach. Ocean and live music. Grouper sandwiches, fries. Comfortable silence

Kenny Cheney, zac brown, pink floyd, jack johnson

Colors, shapes, sissors
Great pain, joyful art
The kitchen table…
Last night Susan and I went to see the movie/documentary on the new MoMA exhibit: Matisse The Cut-Outs. So much to say about it….the paper, paint and colors, the scissors and shapes and the incredible burst of creativity in his last 10 years…..the physical pain but beautiful art…..hard to describe the wonderful effect this presentation, this artist, his art, his narrated philosophy had on us in an empty theatre on a cold Tuesday night in Ohio.

One thing I can share, and Susan said on the drive home she knew what was going on during the movie, I felt the presence of your mom, Rachel. Even now the emotion overwhelms me as I sit here eating my lunch in a University of Akron parking lot with a freight train chuggin by.

Can’t really put into words the how or why…..but she showed up early and stayed with me through his breathtaking Chapelle du Rosaire de Vence. Love. Art. Nature. The kitchen table….

Left me peaceful and smiling through the tears:-)

Hopefully both of you’ll have a chance to catch the movie or visit Matisse and his cutouts at MoMA.

look, at our age this is recreation, not procreation.

enjoy the sense of intimacy of a lifelong partner

gerentologist author karl pillemer

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/todd-mccarthys-10-best-films-758261

whiplash, theory of everything, still alice, the grand Budapest hotel

Ok — I’ve thought about this a little more and want to clarify a few points.

“Abandon all format” is a little bit of an overstatement. What I really meant was that the traditional, five paragraph essay that kids are taught in school is NOT the right format for a college essay — too restrictive, repetitive … and “letting it flow” is good — essays should really flow and not seem forced. When I mentioned your particular writing style, David, I was trying to highlight the heartfelt, vivid (there’s that word again!) way that you write … but I don’t want to give the impression that punctuation, spelling and grammar don’t matter in a college essay — they really do — again, remember that the reader is tired, overworked — and if there are mis-spellings, or if the essay is hard to follow,etc., it’s just plain irritating …

Also — when you say “pick one” below — all those are great ideas, but it doesn’t HAVE to be one of those — and it doesn’t HAVE to be Neahtawanta … I just figured that that was probably pretty fertile territory. You’ll see in the packet of essays (that I will forward to you shortly) — there are quite a few that play upon that theme of family ties that you are encouraging Michael to explore (I’m always a sucker for that type of essay …)

A great role for parents to play is to brainstorm with the kid before he ever writes a single word — helping the kid recognize some of his own attributes that he might not even be fully aware of … and then helping him recall anecdotes that illustrate that point … you should all take a look at the current Common App essay prompts together — they might trigger some ideas … and “topic of choice” (which used to allow a kid to write about anything) has been eliminated … the prompts are general enough that most topics can be made to fit one of them, but they shouldn’t be disregarded all together.

And “make it longer; too short” … is not a hard and fast rule — a good college essay can be the length Michael’s was — but it should be jam packed with VIVID images … Michael’s wasn’t … The current Common App guidelines say the essays should be 650 words or fewer …

Remember that you have very little space in the Common App to tell the admissions committee who you really are — and you don’t want to waste that opportunity. Another name for the college essay is the ‘personal statement’ — I think that’s a much better name … you are trying to give colleges a glimpse of who you are as a person … “college essay” just sounds like one more writing assignment.

I’ve pulled together some good personal statements and will email them to you shortly … I think you’ll “get it” after reading a few of these …

Good luck!

Let me die a youngman’s death
not a clean and inbetween
the sheets holywater death
not a famous-last-words
peaceful out of breath death

When I’m 73
and in constant good tumour
may I be mown down at dawn
by a bright red sports car
on my way home
from an allnight party

Or when I’m 91
with silver hair
and sitting in a barber’s chair
may rival gangsters
with hamfisted tommyguns burst in
and give me a short back and insides

Or when I’m 104
and banned from the Cavern
may my mistress
catching me in bed with her daughter
and fearing for her son
cut me up into little pieces
and throw away every piece but one

Let me die a youngman’s death
not a free from sin tiptoe in
candle wax and waning death
not a curtains drawn by angels borne
‘what a nice way to go’ death
Roger McGough

creative but structured

competitive but fair

A man can be accomplished but humble, playful but respectful and competitive but fair. For the man who is bold and willing to define his own expectations,

http://www.mlive.com/wolverines/index.ssf/2014/12/jim_hackett_decision_to_fire_b.html

David, sorry to hear about your illness.  I do want to give another shout out for the Fitbit you gave me.  Getting back in to running is just something that didn’t sound appealing to me anymore, but hitting 10,000 steps per day is something that I can easily do and actually look forward to the evening walk around Wooster.  And, more importantly, the pounds are slowly shedding off.  In fact, I’m enjoying it so much I’ve thought about upping my goal to 15,000 sometime soon.  When you gave me the Fitbit, I thought it might have a chance of motivating me to exercise, but I didn’t realize it would have this kind of impact.  Thank you again buddy,

Chuck

Soy

alcohol

pot

physically or psychologically mentally spiritually judgement

peer pressure

Larry steinburg…age if opportunity…..lessons from the new science of adolescence

10 12 13 14 till 25 puberty

15 year period of adolescent.

adulthood. Staying in school longer. Not getting married until 27 or later

the book age of opportunity…..lessons from the new science of adolescence

Courage

love

Mindfulness. Inquisitiveness. Noticing. Charasmatic. Present.

expecting change leads to stability

counterclickwise

people who are mindful are living. people who are mindless are dying

prediabetis

Such as giving thx, saying thx

ward off atrophy with daily doses

P wiley

FIO’s the BEST! you’ve heard all the reasons why so here’s a few cute takeaways from several folks who had never eaten a fresh oyster

“Tastes like ocean”
“My God! These are delicious”
“So clean. I thought they’d be all sandy, hairy, dirty” (chuckle; might have had a bad experience with a mussel)
“Love the briny, salty taste” (then someone poked fun and said “yeah, its briny and salty, too!)
“They don’t smell” (another chuckle)
“This is the coolest idea for a cocktail party ever!”

Only 3/14 had shucked an oyster. Those that tried, were thrilled beyond words; such a cool sight to see their big smiles at their big accomplishment when they finally got em opened and then the satisfaction when they popped em in their mouths
naked or just a couple drops of lemon, fresh horseradish, tabasco or some mignonette sauce susan made, 100 was perfect # for 14. 15 if you count our max (katie’s 14 yr old godson) who came home from basketball practice (said he likes deep fried best;-)

Hudsonites from every decade starting from the 1950′s through ’00 filled this 1860′s kitchen on a cold cold Hudson night. A freshman daughter home for thanksgiving from Miami (oxford) walked in and surprised her shocked and happy dad who couldnt hold back the tears. a hudson football coach whose team is just 2 games away from state championship game got a chance to chill and NOT have to talk about about football;-). happiness everywhere you looked

Poor mans champagne – prosecco, local great lakes beers, dogfish head 60 minute ipa, someone bringing a bottle of shramsburg which was my grandparent’s favorite champagne all complimented the main attraction. they only time i got to shuck was before they arrived. they all jumped in and shucked the night away and i never got back behind the counter.

they reminded us we only entertain about once every ten years. last time was a frogmore stew party on a big farm table out in the yard under a big tree on a starry summer night. i dont want to wait that long for another box!

They all were so very interested in the Hudson connection of family farmer Sarah (the attached pictures helped me tell the entire back story). Which then got every one talking about their HS girl or boyfriends and then how each of us met and got married! At one point everyone was naming their top 5 bands from their childhood. The oysters just took us so many places last night. Most everyone checked out your website and got to know the harbor school, BOP and 1% for the planet. Sidebar: one of the gals is a big fan of bracelets and bangles. she saw the FIO home page and the hand that holds the two oysters with the gold bracelet which she admired. Looks very similar to the one my Latin (life) tutor wore;-)

All cups recycled for a couple who buy bulk shucked oysters and make dozens and dozens oyster rockerfeller trays which they deliver to a bunch of very lucky friends every xmas eve

The sensation of briny ocean freshness hitting your mouth….joyous
The twinkle in the eyes and shared smiles after each……joyful
So too an unexpected surprise of a consistent vibe throughout the night of attitude of gratitude from everyone (maybe because the holidays or around the corner or an evening made distinctive, special with your oysters?!
An open oyster bar evening at a home was a first experience for all and the planned 6:30-8:30 eat-n-run cocktail party ran out of oysters at 9 and the friends didnt leave until 11:30!

joy in a box…fishers island oysters were the center piece for a most special night with family and friends!

thanks for sharing, sarah

xo David

Under African Skies

what drives us?

nature. nurture.

gene pool. experiences.

wonderful capacity to wake up, see what tide washed in, and adapt, change and improve

DRAFT #5 11-16-2014

As iTunes shuffles through the “Ride to Michigan” playlist my dad and I know the road to Neahtawanta is just around the next bend. Soon we will be winding along Peninsula Drive past cherry and apple trees, fields climbing with hops and sunflowers and hillside vineyards whose grapes will soon be harvested. We are moments away from ascending the hog back and drinking in the turquoise East and West Bay views of Lake Michigan.

The time in summer has arrived where my Dad and I road-trip to the northern tip of Michigan to spend time with our relatives in Neahtawanta. Beyond the natural beauty of the place, it’s the multi-generational nature of our daily lives that makes Neah so special. You see, it’s not just my immediate family, but grandmas, grandpas, aunts, uncles, cousins and life-long, summertime friends and their relatives that make it so distinctive. These relatives and friends come together each summer to live, love, laugh and play on Lake Michigan during the day and each cold Michigan night tuck in to century-old, un-insulated cottages.

All year long, no matter where I am, I can close my eyes and picture the last hour and a half of the trip. The warm, fresh air coming off of Lake Michigan is always recognizable. Seeing the same cottages and docks I’ve been looking at since I can remember creates a nostalgic feeling. The overwhelming anticipation to make the most of each and every day and night is our number one priority as we have limited time.

When the asphalt changes to dirt road, I know I am truly in Neah. I jump out of the car to greet and hug everyone. My brothers and I sprint off to see everyone I haven’t seen since last summer. These reconnections seem to be more and more heartwarming with each passing summer as I’ve been growing up with them since I was a baby. These people, this place and the views create a suspenseful feeling.

My mom’s 50^th birthday celebration is tonight. Family and friends are nestled together under the Pavilion at West Bay enjoying Frogmore Stew cooked on the open fire. When dinner ends and my mom has blown out the last candle on the cherry crumb pie, she surprise us with a gift. Mom combed the beaches for a special stone for each of us. She wants us to make a wish on this stone, to carry it with us for the next year, to remember just how special a place Neah is and how blessed we are to have one another. To remember family, friends and Neah until our return next summer. Another day in Neah ends as the purple and orange sunset turns to star-filled skies and we head back to the cottage to snuggle into our wonderfully cramped bedroom: 1 room, 3 beds, 3 brothers for 14 years. Wake and repeat.

Boat rides to Suttons Bay for burgers. Wakeboarding on smooth waters at sunset. Day trips to Great Bear sand dunes with a Bad Dog Deli picnic. Jumping off a 15 foot dock on Power Island. What makes every memory better, is having your family and closest friends with you. Words fail to accurately describe the atmosphere of Neatawanta. The natural beauty is the easy part. What’s hard to describe is the presence of some instinct that draws us back along some ancient migration trail as families return summer after summer to share the same tiny patch of sandy land on Lake Michigan.

The best part of Neah is knowing I will be in Northern Michigan again next summer seeing, hearing and feeling new memories being created with the people I love. A feeling of knowing I will be going to Neah for the rest of my life is exciting. I have never felt more at peace than I do in Neah. Neahtawanta will forever be known as a sacred place to me, myself, and I.

walking home from lower laurel

then upstair and cant sleep.

downstair big desk yellow sports walkman

love letter

….to never go to college after a gap year

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have not honored even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they’d made, or not made.

It’s important to try to honor at least some of your dreams along the way. It’s too late once you lose your health. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks, and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks: love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called comfort of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is your life. Choose consciously, choose wisely and choose honestly. Choose happiness.

“practice ourselves into it”

some say you gotta be reborn to take communion. most of us practice our way into it

take the glory over fame any day

old poor woman drops two small coins in collection jar. worth less than a penny. gives more than she can afford

others with more wealth can be guilt-ed or inspired to give more.

go with inspired

Go to where the puck s going to be. Personalized medicine not one size fits all. Improve and extend human life. Genetic science genomic and fiscal responsibility. Cleveland Clinic innovations. Behavioral modifications wearable devices sensors prevention as in wage peace.

“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.  Rodney Dangerfield

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.”  Lynn Lavner

“Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.”   Camille Paglia

“Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant.”    George Burns

“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.”  Sharon Stone

“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.”  Tiger Woods

“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.”  Jack Nicholson

” A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”  Barbara Bush

“Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.”      Robin Williams

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place”  Billy Crystal

“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.” Robert De Niro

“There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what’s the problem?”
Dustin Hoffman

“There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men think, ‘I know what I’m doing. Just show me somebody naked !” Jerry Seinfeld

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” Robin Williams

“It’s been so long since I’ve had sex, I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.”       Joan Rivers

“Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy.”
Steve Martin

” You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-..aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.”
Elmo Phillips

” Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”  Oscar Wilde

” It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.”      George Burns

Dna …rx decisions

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/lauren-hill-ohio-girl-dying-of-brain-cancer-realizes-college-basketball-dream/

Loved, loved, loved the pall bearer story … am going to circulate that one to some of my peeps!

http://www.cleveland.com/pluto/index.ssf/2014/10/terry_plutos_faith_you_meet_ji.html

in the three days from Christ’s crucifixion entombment and resurrection. Works of art show him emerging from hell. Monkey with key

Cbs sunday morning story

oct 26

Our own personal vision of heave

Steven Johnson

Ok — I’ve thought about this a little more and want to clarify a few points.

“Abandon all format” is a little bit of an overstatement. What I really meant was that the traditional, five paragraph essay that kids are taught in school is NOT the right format for a college essay — too restrictive, repetitive … and “letting it flow” is good — essays should really flow and not seem forced. When I mentioned your particular writing style, David, I was trying to highlight the heartfelt, vivid (there’s that word again!) way that you write … but I don’t want to give the impression that punctuation, spelling and grammar don’t matter in a college essay — they really do — again, remember that the reader is tired, overworked — and if there are mis-spellings, or if the essay is hard to follow,etc., it’s just plain irritating …

Also — when you say “pick one” below — all those are great ideas, but it doesn’t HAVE to be one of those — and it doesn’t HAVE to be Neahtawanta … I just figured that that was probably pretty fertile territory. You’ll see in the packet of essays (that I will forward to you shortly) — there are quite a few that play upon that theme of family ties that you are encouraging Michael to explore (I’m always a sucker for that type of essay …)

A great role for parents to play is to brainstorm with the kid before he ever writes a single word — helping the kid recognize some of his own attributes that he might not even be fully aware of … and then helping him recall anecdotes that illustrate that point … you should all take a look at the current Common App essay prompts together — they might trigger some ideas … and “topic of choice” (which used to allow a kid to write about anything) has been eliminated … the prompts are general enough that most topics can be made to fit one of them, but they shouldn’t be disregarded all together.

And “make it longer; too short” … is not a hard and fast rule — a good college essay can be the length Michael’s was — but it should be jam packed with VIVID images … Michael’s wasn’t … The current Common App guidelines say the essays should be 650 words or fewer …

Remember that you have very little space in the Common App to tell the admissions committee who you really are — and you don’t want to waste that opportunity. Another name for the college essay is the ‘personal statement’ — I think that’s a much better name … you are trying to give colleges a glimpse of who you are as a person … “college essay” just sounds like one more writing assignment.

I’ve pulled together some good personal statements and will email them to you shortly … I think you’ll “get it” after reading a few of these …

Good luck!

http://boingboing.net/2014/10/19/watch-torturing-virtual-peopl.html

Casual give yourself some breathing room with 4ish and arrive 15 minutes early for all meetings. 6ish

Predicting the future

http://www.npr.org/programs/ted-radio-hour/?showDate=2014-10-10

issacson

http://www.sustainablecleveland.org/about/dashboard/

Around McKinsey you’ll find common qualities in our people such as:

• passion, dedication and energy
• commitment to high standards and core values
• entrepreneurial spirit
• interesting personal hobbies and pursuits

These are just a few of the qualities that make our people and our clients successful. . .and make working at McKinsey fun.

There are five aspects we consider as we look for new people to join the firm:

Personal impact

We look for people who can develop and implement creative solutions in the face of challenging goals—and often differing opinions, personalities, and backgrounds. Skills in interacting with people in sometimes tough situations are critical to driving distinctive client impact.

Entrepreneurial drive

We look for people with an entrepreneurial spirit—who are innovative by nature, and always working to create new approaches, products, services, and technologies.

Problem-solving skills

We look for people who can help clients solve tough problems using not only strong intellectual capabilities and rigor but also good judgment and a healthy dose of practical sense.

Achievement

We look for people who possess the natural drive and fortitude to get things done, who thrive on achievement and helping others achieve their goals.

Leadership abilities

We look for people who strive to lead—lead themselves, their teams, their communities—and can  foster effective teamwork in order to drive results for clients and positive change overall.

We thrive when our teams are made up of people from different backgrounds, cultures, genders, education, training, interests, and skills and all have a common base of these five important qualities. And you can thrive by joining us.

http://youtu.be/qs_-emj1qR4

“Abused horses are like abused children. They trust no one and expect the worst. But patience, leadership, compassion and firmness can help them overcome their pasts.”

the three of you have proven time and time again you are good and faithful and loyal friends to those you are close to. in that spirit, here’s some feedback i got yesterday that made me feel good.

Was in Hudson Sept 12-14 for my dad’s 91st. My mom and I went to visit Molly for an hour. They are both so cute. Molly has her own short term memory problems and combined with my mom’s dementia it is a trip! They get caught in these circular conversations AND DON’T EVEN KNOW!!! I was dying and had to interject and redirect so we didn’t talk about the same things over and over. Too funny. Meanwhile, her cat Arthur was ignoring her. He finally went to Molly and I looked back to where he had been and there was a dead bird on the carpet! I brought it to Molly’s attention and she was completely unfazed, handed me a KLEENEX and told me to take it out to the woods. OH MY GOD. So I’m a little freaked out, ask for rubber gloves, my mom steps in and wants to do it and Molly pipes up, “Absolutely not Julie, sit down, Abby will take care of it”  and says “Now Abby, be brave!” So I ask for a couple more Kleenex and take it out to the woods. UGH! God bless Molly… Robby would have been 51 September 10th.

Miss you guys – love the idea of a winter ski/whatever escape out west…

http://www.carwashfacelift.com/products/salt-prep-drum-wrap

http://www.chicagobusiness.com/article/20140923/BLOGS09/140929996#

Taj Mahal

Buffet song

Maya’s

Governors Beach

http://mtnroadcycles.com/product/felt-bicycles-bixby-1-speed-180560-1.htm

Mountain bikes come in a few price categories that equate to performance and capabilities:

$400 -500 = not for frequent or semi serious offroading

$500- 800 = starting to get capabilities, heavy, slower handling, avoid full suspension at this price

$800- 1500 = valid off road machines, weight is dropping, upgraded components, full suspension will be 30+ lbs

$1500 – 2500 = Solid upper line brand trail bikes

$2500- ? = Light weight, solid components, state of the art performance

If you are into a project, buy a Chinese carbon frame and build one.

http://www.light-bicycle.com/

http://www.npr.org/series/4499275/sweetness-and-light

Ventura

I think I’m gonna make myself a little something to eat,
Get a can down off the shelf, maybe a little something sweet.
Haven’t spoke to no one, haven’t been in the mood,
Pour some soup, get a spoon, stir it up real good.
Go out with a friend, they know the music might help,
But I can’t pretend – I wish I was somewhere else.

I wanna watch the ocean bend,
The edges of the sun,then
I wanna get swallowed up
In an ocean of love.

Put on my coat, go out into the street,
Get a lump in my throat, and look down at my feet.
Take the long way home, so I can ride around,
Put Neil Young on and turn up the sound.
Drive up the coastline, maybe to Ventura,
Watch the waves make signs out on the water.

I wanna watch the ocean bend,
The edges of the sun,then
I wanna get swallowed up
In an ocean of love.

Stand in the shower, clean this dirty mess,
Give me back my power, and drown this unholyness.
Lean over the toilet bowl, and throw up my confession,
Clense my soul, of this hidden obsession.

I wanna watch the ocean bend,
The edges of the sun,then
I wanna get swallowed up
In an ocean of love.

I wanna watch the ocean bend,
The edges of the sun,then
I wanna get swallowed up
In an ocean of love.

Presidents and golf

Double double

• Start with an agenda (ideally distributed in advance)
• Depending on the setting and the context, go around room and ask each to say what they hope to accomplish or learn or decide by the time meeting is over to consider the meeting a “success”
• Assign time-keeper and scribe (key technique)
• Put up a parking lot (“great idea, good question”; have the scribe add it to the parking lot. its important but outside the scope of the meeting agenda)
• Honor time contracts (start & stop on time; time-keeper needs to be brutal)
• Headline ideas (what time it is versus how the clock was made)
• Help ideas over the wall
• No heat-seeking missiles
• “One meeting, please” (no sidebar conversations)
• During brainstorming, problem-solving sessions, there is no “bad” idea
• Give ‘em something visual to react to (say it with charts, tell a story, paint a picture)
• Keep the faith (determination & optimism in the face of challenges/adversity)
• Fist-to-Five (take the temperature often; fist/zero/=no-go; five = green light)

She love me

“. With the album, Waits asserted that he “tried to resolve a few things as far as this cocktail lounge, maudlin, crying-in-your-beer image that I have. There ain’t nothin’ funny about a drunk [...] I was really starting to believe that there was something amusing and wonderfully American about being a drunk. I ended up telling myself to cut that shit out.”^[1

A successful student-athlete could be described less by the win/loss record than being know as:

• coach-able
• respectful
• a great teammate
• mentally tough
• resilient and
• gives their best effort all the time

I want to pass on a story that Jane told me when she visited last month: Years ago, Robby bought a guitar at a garage sale for $50. He knew it was undervalued and that he’d gotten a screaming deal … and he truly loved this guitar.  Shortly before he died he decided to sell it, so that it would be one less thing for Jane to deal with after he was gone. They have an old friend who works at a sort of iconic music store in Minneapolis, so he took it there — and they bought it for $3500 … Rob was thrilled.

Fast forward to this spring — apparently Bruce Springsteen has ties to this same music store and was talking to the owner one day who mentioned that he had a guitar Bruce might like to check out … Bruce expressed interest so the owner put the “Hold for Springsteen” sign on it (which Rob’s friend then photographed and forwarded to Jane – see below). The long and the short of the story is that Bruce ended up deciding to buy the guitar — so Rob’s old guitar is now owned by Bruce Springsteen!! Apparently Bruce typically plays a different kind of guitar and this is the first of Rob’s type he’s bought (I think it’s called a ‘Fender’ ??) … so the friend said that if you ever see Bruce with a Fender, it’s probably Rob’s guitar!!

http://youtu.be/IGLHzhTJmSE

Bobby, mark and i just slurped some bowls of kimchi at airport. Piping hot, spicy soul food. A killer Cart recommendation. Feels like the ideal comfort-food send-off to a bittersweet couple days in MSP. Grilled cheese and soup when i get back to ohio. Thanks, Pute.

Such a hard trip to make. Truth….closure is a fucking myth. (Yup just figuring out!) Im just as weepy and forlorn as when i walked off the plane thursday night. Back here row 31 seat D, its tissues tears and raybans. Yet as mesy as it all seems to be so glad were all together for this moment. So easy to be with you guys to celebrate and mourn, laugh and cry.

Grateful for Libbo and Mic and Donna giving us places to call home. Grateful, too, to susan for gently nudging me along by booking the flight.

Im sticking with this…aint no shame holding on to grief….as long as you make room for other stuff.

I discovered some new and wonderful things about our dear friend Robby. And had all the stuff i knew in my head and heart affirmed to the N-degree.

Short straws. Long straws. Wheels up and safe travels. Signing off, Im kinda warming to the notion and comfort found in Jane’s story that we’re all walking eachother home.

Love, David

Ps writing this ive gone through half box but now im giggling like a madman. You know the laughter you try to suppress in church?! My seatmmate is wondering what the hell is wrong with me. I need medicated! Where are the cookies, syd? Haha. Anyways Live at the beacon Dont keep me wondering by allman bros is absolutely fucking cranking in my ears. And i realize in my subliminal mind its robby and not butch trucks just beating the shit outta that drum kit. Hes all in and just giving it all hes got. Playing his heart out just standing up there giving it all his might. Smilin that big toothy grin. The final note and he tosses his sticks into the audience. Arms up and open wide.

White Out.

Hes gone. Grateful Dead

http://www.radiolab.org/

Gestalt. Crosstalk

You take yourself with you wherever you go

 the 1975

shoot, I fell asleep.

the city

heart out

settle down

girls (knocks remix)

Undo

Robbers (my fav)

http://staging.theroyalorder.com/patagonia/tinshed/index_US.html

Suzzanne vega
Old crow medicine show
Neighborhood
John Mayer

till I met thee – Cody Chesnutt

what you know – two door cinema club

dream chasin – chiddy bang

pumped up kicks – yonas

sweater weather – the neighborhood

mother we share – chvrches

child’s play – SZA

motionless – spooky black

gone gone gone – Phillip Phillips

http://www.kickbully.com/toxic.html

victims may blame themselves: A child/young adult may be reluctant to disclose abuse out of fear that they had somehow caused the abuse or did something bad to deserve the abuse. Children/young adults need help and support to understand they didn’t do anything wrong and the abuse was not their fault.

Signs of a toxic workplace:

1. Widespread anger and frustration
2. Workplace bully is admired
3. Scapegoats are always blamed
4. Dysfunctional relationships
5. Dysfunctional meetings
6. Obvious hypocrisy
7. Overly restrictive systems
8. Incompetent or powerless HR manager

These high school years are so the challenge.  I believe there is much more pressure to understand who you are earlier than we ever experienced.  It is so hard to watch them work through questions many 40 years olds have yet to answer while still physically and emotionally maturing.  I can’t begin to imagine the amount of emotional complexity that comes from being the younger sibling

jp hypertension and bp 160/90. Out for two
Troy utterly wiped out. Out for two

Overload
Both had other jobs for 6-15 years
Stress of finding, negotiating, quitting, starting and learning new job, meeting new people and way outside comfort zones

Chapters and cycles

http://www.evernote.com/shard/s239/sh/0d70bdf9-eacb-46db-b9c1-d8ade7a75d02/bd4c64ab581fa13b0a4d05da5cb31416

Must see

Lake,Erie

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/06/28/12462561-teacher-dies-after-trying-to-save-student-from-lake-erie-rip-currents

Jesus didn’t necessarily want to go into Jerusalem

Selfless
Faith

Calling our attention to what we need to face

Ejected from game

Does it breed or tap into people’s desires? Tap.

For a stench that

When it hits, you feel no pain

John Prine, Dead, Allman Brothers, Susan Tedeschi, Derek Trucks

I heard the news today, oh boy. 

Rachel emailed Boo, Jess, Morton, Mather, Emily, Pute, Gallo, Fitz, Rog, Voz and me this morning. As soon as I read Rachel’s last sentence that “my heart is breaking as I am sure yours are, too” I boogied over to see Molly. 

With Poncho and Arthur at her feet, there sat Molly…..knitting and sipping her half-cup of coffee. The same half-cup with a little half-n-half Sue constantly keeps refreshed (but only a half-cup at a time!). As always Molly greeted me with a big smile as i leaned down to get a fuzzy peck on the check. Poncho waddled up for a pet and Arthur gave me the look that he needed to go out to do his bidness. 

“David, you should be at work. What are you doing here?” 

“I got the news about Robby.”

She’s keeping the conversation loose, light and moving as she has done ever since the cough started and the diagnosis came in. I gingerly asked if she wanted to do a road trip to SP to see you. I told a story about using the iPad to to a video chat with you and she said the pillar of strength would crumble in a few

– 

blue door

the wileyville

• oysters
• dark & stormy
• blue blood
• calamari
• smoked pork belly ramen
• salmon bagel

aloft – cleveland

We’re gonna strap them kids in give ‘em a little bit o’ Benadryl And a cherry coke we’re goin’ to Oklahoma Gonna have us a time

Physically – spiritually

We all have our joys
We all have our sufferings

Whether we are gathered or scattered

Prayer for the ages
St patrick

2 portfolios

Portfolio…retirement. Tax deferred until withdrawal. Conservative.

Secondary portfolio….discretionary.,creating wealth to enjoy . take more risk.

Always be diversified.

No more than 20% in same sector.

If no time to pick stocks, put in s&p index fund.

Quirky.com

And I have a little different thoughts. If coach does come up to him. I made a mistake, had a consequence and have had to sit out the game. If more questions come…I was caught at a party. Can be way more cryptic with him. 

I still think that the same approach is ok with college coach, BUT IF approached, then own up n take full responsibility n admit mistake and taking consequence, like David said in his email. 

These are some food for thought for you guys to take it or leave it…:)

$1-$2 per day for housekeepers at hotel

15-20%

Working class best tippers. Worst are wealthy

Anyone who touches your bag gets tip

Can’t give mail mail cash. Muffins. Gloves

When he was in trouble, he got out in front of the bad news and told his coach. “hey coach, Ive got some bad news to share with you. I wanted you to hear it from me first.” pause for effect. “I screwed up, made a bad decision and got caught. now I’m paying the consequence. Nobody’s fault but mine. I wanted you to hear it from me and not someone else. I’ve learned some tough lessons and now It’s chin up and moving on from here.”

If he was pressed for details he’d just say I got caught at a party. No need for anymore details.

For a club coach situation like obrien possibly coming to scout during suspension, after the game if he comes up or calls to find out why Trent wasn’t playing, he say “I had to sit out the game.” Why? “I got caught at a party.” that’s it and move on. 

30 days, reaching out to a bunch of people to get their perspectives based on their experiences, sleeping on it, writing it down, sleeping on it some more. Trying it on for size. Talking it through. Thinking it through. Feeling it through
Cogitate

Wayne Dwyer

I read 150 pages

This from a kid that a month ago loathed any book

At the end of the ice age for example retreating glacier leave behind bare ground at the 2002 ecosystems cytus wonder for haps other species me survive on the ice for thousands of years in reviving the glaciers melt give you a very different way of understanding the biodiversity other reason

The challenge is how to keep a fusion reaction going long enough to generate usable power energy. Holy grail.

Jurassic Park was one thing but we’re talking about real animals real plants real organisms that have been suspended for a very long length of time wild cloning mamis remain speculative reviving dormant organisms is now passing out of its proof of concept stage research could lead to using revival to help poster endangered species the biodiversity of a region resurrection technology champions resurrection ecology or bacteria which spend much of their time in a state of dormancy

Resurrection ecology after being frozen for more than 1500 years the moss growing again Fusion 30 year dream that will always be 3 years out the future

Avery island
Mchelheny

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=avery%20island&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CCYQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tabasco.com%2Favery-island%2F&ei=ezkmU7LoOvGc0gHAxoHwAw&usg=AFQjCNEal9wv_Z_iGKcCac8nLQ8Rfs63oA

Karl barth….I take the bible too seriously to take it literally. Bible isn’t the definitive answer to every question. Bible isn’t the end of the discussion, it’s the beginning. Opens discussion. Check out video archive for the authors names. 3/16-2014 FCC.

“The readers of Luke’s gospel, like most people in the ancient world, did not make a sharp distinction between myth and reality.  That is to say they were less interested in what actually happened than in what it meant.” (p. 31)

I am most interested in what the Bible means about who God is and who we are.  My faith is not based on whether or not Jesus was born in Bethlehem or Nazareth.  It’s not based on whether or not Mary was a virgin, although I believe that Jesus was born in Bethlehem and with God, nothing is impossible.  But it’s deeper than that.

Karl Barth

The bible isn’t a manual or the answer to every question. The bible is to be use to start conversation versus close down conversation. Not to end conversation. When we take the bible and it has every answer in it. Conclusion of the journey versus launching us on a journey with god. The bible is a starting point.

William Sloan Kauffman

The bible is not t be used to end a discussion it’s there to begin a discussion. Open, not close down. Not concludes journey, starts journey

How can we know the fullness and completeness of god. Let god grasp us. Let god be god. Not us to grasp god. Fit him into our own construct.

God sent his son not to condemn the world but to save the world.

Not to just embrace god, but to embrace everyone.

Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.
As quoted in Finding the Magnificent in Lower Mundane : Extraordinary Stories About An Ordinary Place (1994) by Bob Stromberg, p. 69

Nicodemous

High performance team
High performance player (mastery)
Striving to win AND teachingģlearning life lessons

Power of the AND

Systems approach
Systems approach
Systems approach

Systems thinking

Ive put forth the plan and now holding accountable

Scoreboard scorecard definition…results
Mastery definition….Effort

Try hard…lots of calls and quotes and few closes
No effort……no closes

Mental mistakes…..over and over. Pricing. Not using special prices

Anxiety goes down. Confidence goes up

Big picture…systems approach…

Work system. Be in control. Work with confidence

Building resilience
Skake it off
Snap out of it
Flush it
Wipe sweat

Not trying to tear you down. Not trying to drain your tank. But my leadership style is benefits before concerns

Truthfull and specific praise
Expressing appreciation
Im not seeing signs of trying

Benefits before concerns.

Ill meet to listen.
No verbals
Avoiding

1st principle
Double goal
2nd principle
Magic ratio
5:1………. 5 Positives to 1 criticism

Holding yourself to high standards even when others dont.

Roots
Respect for
Rules
Opponents
Officials
Teamates
Self

Whats culture on the team. Defining and nurture the culture. This is the way we do things here.

This isnt the way we do things here

Tools, tips, tricks and techniques

Max dials up John maters gravity. Lights out and put it in darl.

World according to garp. Put it in neutral and kill the lights

Operating a vehicle after underage consumption

Beer shot 4oz wine liquid content different, alcohol all the same alcohol

Half can of beer.
.00
.01
.02

Beer goggles. Judgement impaired. No one has changed, just your perceptions
.05
.06
.07

Buzzed and you know it
.08
.09

Forget. Tell same story. Hearing dulled. boorish
.10
.11
.12
.13

Diminishing returns. The happy buzz is now giving way to arguments and violence
.14
.15
.15
.16
.17

Tunnel vision. No periphery. Alcohol dulling pain receptors
.18
.19

Trashed. You still think you are sober. Argue with people.
.20

No clue of physical injury. Fall down flight of stairs. Not enough info getting to brain. Choke on vomit and die
.24

Brain doesn’t recognize color red. Green light yellow light and black and white light.
.25

Pass out.
.30

Numbed so much surgery can be done.
.35

Coma
.40

Death
.50

Cols showers and coffee don’t work. Only time

Is smoking pot safe?

4seconds from mouth, lungs (blood stream), brain

1960 5-8%thc
2013 15-18% thc

Regular use versus every now and then

Exhale into toilet paper,roll stuffed with fabric softener sheets

Raylozano.com

Dont think about a pink elephant

Tough for a bored teenager to think about much else

Dependent
Enabler
Hero
Mascot
Scapegoat
Lost child

2-20 years adults
Kids pontes
Postpone until 21. Ideally until 25

Addiction
Dependency

No different than family history f high cholesterol and heart disease

Name 6 and at high risk

If a sons dad is then very very high risk

Out drink most
Last one to stop
Fast drinker

Dave, very soulful tune, I do remember it from Ken Burns Civil War series, which itself was so deeply dealt and soul filled, it made you feel as if you knew the individual soldiers.

So I gave the Irish maudlin thing a little more thought, as I tend to do.  I think the Irish connection to sorrow is borne of two things, poverty being the first; the Irish were so poor, so terribly poor, until quite recently, the only thing they could ‘own’ were their feelings.  The happy music of a good ‘session’ is uniquely Irish and a good time will be had by all.  Conversely the music of their sadness, whether individual in mourning a personal loss, or national in mourning the death toll of the Potato Famine and the wealthy and healthy English doing nothing to ease its pain (from 85 miles away).  To compound the tragedy of that time, most Irish could not afford to emigrate to their favored targets…America or Australia at that time, (not coincidentally two places who had wrestled their freedom away from England), so they were forced to make the much shorter trip across the Irish Sea to for all intents and purposes enemy territory and try to scrape out a living in England and support the family back home from there.  The number of ballads and sad and mournful tunes that speak to that particular time are countless.

The second part to me is something I took from a movie, Out of Africa……… speaking of soundtracks….  There is a time in this true story where the main characters have a very romantic time out camping under the stars, and he washes her hair for her…….  Later in the movie she is visited by tough time after tough time, tragedy after tragedy and when asked how she copes, she says, when I think I can’t go on, when it is all too tough, I think back to that wonderful time when camping, and in doing so I make my misery a little more difficult to bear, and then when I get through that, I know I can make it through whatever I am dealing with……….  I think that same mentality might be at work in the mournful music, it makes the sorrow deeper and more unbearable seemly, but then having made it slightly worse by virtue of the cello, fiddle and bag-pipped soundtrack of their sadness…….. they step through and endure…. knowing they will eventually come out the other side.

Music not weed wine powder or pills
Mother and child reunion….strange and mournful day
Ashokan farewell
The ND video

Mcdonalds before drug and alcohol workshop (clash I fought the law and the law won)
Shake shack NYC max and me
Gatorades on goba with mic bonking
St Bart’s Maya’s
Legumes and fresh grilled snapper
Chocolate croissant
Spinach at
Pastabilities wine and food pairing
Fried cheesecake at trout club
Chip étouffée at Russo’s
Canes with max
Skyline in Glendale
Skyline with boys
The wink
CPK with mic after soccer
The temp twice baked potatos and fried oyster basket
Grouper samiches
Shawn’s burger with fried egg
Zingermans deli
Zingermans roadhouse
Braden’s
Dons drive in
Sliders

Boogie on reggae woman
Dreadlock holiday
Trenchtown

http://www.plantemoran.com/perspectives/articles/2013/Pages/whats-your-vision-lessons-learned-from-zingermans.aspx

7 years. Summer pilgrimage. Tribal. Sleeping in car. Pizza in the parking lot

Mikes analogy to queen or Brooklyn pickup basketball court that famous. Bring your game and see how it all shakes out. Best experience ever

http://www.thehighline.org/

Coop

Brush with bold strokes as you paint your 2014 summer masterpiece. Make room for the “power of the And” by leaving a healthy amount of white space, though. 

God, the fates and the randomness of the universe will knock with opportunities. Life’s seasoned travelers always leave room for improvisation. I learned this from my very best guy friend, Joe.

Love, Dad

15 minutes of fame. Showbiz kids don’t give a fuck about anybody else.

Helicopter parents and alcohol poisoning
Weed and Wine. Powders and pills. Binging and beers

Twinge in your heart – Greek pain from an old wound is nostalgia. Creates a twinge in your heart

Carousel – we go round and round. Takes us back home. To a place we know we were loved.

Back home again

To a place we know we were loved

Nostalgia

Home movies

Technology is the glittering lure

Sentimental bond with the product

Success is standing out

Don’t want to be the needle in the haystack. Wanna be the haystack

“new” creates an itch. Put your product in there as a sort of Calamine lotion

Twinge in your heart far more powerful than memory alone

Obituaries is a time machine. Goes round and round and always brings you back home. A carousel. Goes backwards. forwards. Takes us to a place we ache to go again.

Let’s us travel the way a child travels. Round and round and back home again. To a place where we know we were loved.

Coin star for loose photos. Machine to dump your photos in. Turns em into digital images. Auto uploads to obituaries.org or flickr or animoto.

Mashup with flickr and iTunes. Mashup with animoto.

Slideshow

Google maps with a picture of person at that time

Illuminate.com

Jib jab feature to send cards.

Jib jab to create stories about papa

Coming home from dinner the other night, guest DJ Max dialed up John Mayer Gravity (Live). Neat moment as we sat in the drive way, lights out until the song ended.

I got a chance to finish reading…………I love your vision and am so glad I get to be a part of it. Personally….I know that I am finally right where I need to be…at Rice!…very well written and easy to understand…:-)

The line that stuck out in my mind…”We are changing the world with every transaction.”

It takes 17 of us easily 40 hours of work MBA’s CFP’s CPAs lawyers to create a business plan for the rest of your life

C u next Tuesday
Kitchen

Awwwwww … I remember when Liam Neeson’s wife died … such a weird, freaky accident … and your description of grief washing over you like a wave at unexpected moments is right on target in my experience …

dave matthews…waves knocking you down

Grief: Caught by a wave my back to the ocean.
It knocks me off my feet and
just as I find my footing
here you come again!

aint no shame in holding on to grief, as long as you make room for other things

Farther Along, too. Johnny Cash

Tin whistle, mandolin, cittern traditional Irish version of mandolin, accordion, the recorder, harmonica, bagpipe

Dirty old town

Bobby, mark and i just slurped some bowls of kimchi at airport. Piping hot, spicy soul food. A killer Cart recommendation. Feels like the ideal comfort-food send-off to a bittersweet couple days in MSP. Grilled cheese and soup when i get back to ohio. Thanks, Pute.

Such a hard trip to make. Truth….closure is a fucking myth. (Yup just figuring out!) Im just as weepy and forlorn as when i walked off the plane thursday night. Back here row 31 seat D, its tissues tears and raybans. Yet as mesy as it all seems to be so glad were all together for this moment. So easy to be with you guys to celebrate and mourn, laugh and cry.

Grateful for Libbo and Mic and Donna giving us places to call home. Grateful, too, to susan for gently nudging me along by booking the flight.

Im sticking with this…aint no shame holding on to grief….as long as you make room for other stuff.

I discovered some new and wonderful things about our dear friend Robby. And had all the stuff i knew in my head and heart affirmed to the N-degree.

Short straws. Long straws. Wheels up and safe travels. Signing off, Im kinda warming to the notion and comfort found in Jane’s story that we’re all walking eachother home.

Love, David

Ps writing this ive gone through half box but now im giggling like a madman. You know the laughter you try to suppress in church?! My seatmmate is wondering what the hell is wrong with me. I need medicated! Where are the cookies, syd? Haha. Anyways Live at the beacon Dont keep me wondering by allman bros is absolutely fucking cranking in my ears. And i realize in my subliminal mind its robby and not butch trucks just beating the shit outta that drum kit. Hes all in and just giving it all hes got. Playing his heart out just standing up there giving it all his might. Smilin that big toothy grin. The final note and he tosses his sticks into the audience. Arms up and open wide.

White Out.

On Feb 4, 2014 6:08 PM,

Brother where art thou
Cold mountain
Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds
Don’t drink the water. Cancer. White man
So lucky
Lie in our graves (I’m blown away)
Gary Clark jr
Fare the well issac
This must be the place naive melody the lumineers

RIW robby

Skills I have (40/50)

My top-three skill sets have been honed within highly competitive team environments

Inspirational leadership skills where my dominant style is collaborative, not authoritative
Ruthless time management skills
Setting and achieving SMART goals (specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, time-based)
 

Skills I want (62/100)

Front-end (UI) code development and stronger Powerpoint skills for faster prototyping to give stakeholders/potential investors something visual to react to…faster
To acquire an arsenal of guerilla techniques to become a much better shameless marketer (e.g., 1-800-GOT-JUNK)
To develop a stronger “engineering mindset” that enables me to see even more questions to ask to “further scratch the itch of curiosity”
 

What’s your favorite startup? And why? (146/150)

A 50 year-old company in start-up mode is my favorite. They cannibalizing their core business and starting over. Why? Bigger, better-capitalized competitors circling in for the kill, declining revenues due to legacy sales force and commodity products in a shrinking market. Change or die.

They’ve tapped into the resources of Zingerman’s and rewriten their vision, mission and recruited a brand new team with a start-up mentality that is focused on growth, hustle and hard work. Open-book management has been implemented. Internet technologies made possible new services allowing them to change the game they play (Blue Ocean Strategy). So why is it my favorite start-up? They have tapped into the wisdom and economic benefits of sustainability. Pursuing sustainability and the triple bottom-line has enabled them to pivot their business model and position this 50 year-old start-up to not just survive, but thrive, for the next half-century.

What’s currently stopping you from starting up? How are you going to fix that through the Startup Academy? (204/200)

Resource constraints: time and knowledge. First, as a student-athlete at Michigan, SAAC rep and Student Ambassador, there are precious few hours left each week to head out on my first entrepreneurial journey without a map. Second, I’m not stupid but I am ignorant; I don’t know what I don’t know about the start-up process. As I analyze my situation, I have two choices if I remain on my own: 1) I can spend my time on the start-up idea OR 2) I can spend my time learning the methodology to start-up; but I cannot do both.

Through the Start-Up Academy I can gain access to three specific resources: one, I’ll have the privilege of being ensconced in an inspirational team environment that will move me from the weary theories of the classroom to actually getting things accomplished; two, teaming with like-minded and driven future entrepreneurs will enhance and accelerate my own efforts; and lastly,  I’ve been told my whole life by teachers and coaches having someone like me on the team or in the classroom makes those around me better. Contributing to another’s success is something that fills me with joy and I’ve learned the more I give the more I get back.

Few extra minutes of studying is difference between lightness and tension at home. Good grades beat the alternative

robby and jane were there, too. max blast

http://gear.insidelacrosse.com/news/2014/02/04/choosing-play-division-iii

Multi sport athletes a good thing and why
Summer club teams and fall try outs
Strength and conditioning
Nutrition and fuel
Recruiting start early. Using lacrosee as leverage to get into a great school
Stretching stretching stretching
Being a good freshman rat all 4 years
Shake coach hand say hello no matter how scary he is
HHS varsity defensive sets
Books that have helped, inspired and challenged you
Perspectives on a pg year
Tactical building a website and why

Daily Gameplan

Have boys write down their goals for camp and next season. 

Bubbles. The Wire

Framework for hiring

Skills Accomplishments Culture

Ran into a number of you over the past week and a theme began to emerge. When I asked how your sons were enjoying HS lacrosse, “frustrated” was the word I heard most often. With few exceptions, “too little playing time” was the root cause. Unsaid but I’m guessing some conversations at home are focusing on whether to go out for lacrosse next year, let alone play this summer. Susan and I as you know, can empathize. Coop’s story has been told too many times so I wont bore you again.

next time you get really anger, check this out: is the anger triggered by repressed sadness over something that occurred in the past?

mic, you took an extra step to greatness at the Lax-in-Nati Lacrosse Tournament. You came to the rescue of someone when they needed a helping hand. Good on ya! It was the right thing to do. You were approachable and while a little unsure because it was a new situation, you suited back up and went to help another team that was a player down due to an injury. sometimes, when you go the extra mile you are rewarded. you got moved up to that higher level team

you are on a 2-lane highway. the speed limit is 65 mph. there’s a driver poking along in the left lane, the high speed lane, the passing lane. we roll up behind them as we are going our normal 9 mph over the speed limit. the program is to pass the slower cars and then signal and move back over into the right lane. this driver is just poking along between 60-65 mph. we end up having to pass on the right. as we pull alongside and look left at the cat behind the wheel, i’m always wondering do you know better but just want to piss people off? or are you just clueless. either way, this is probably the #1 thing in life that consistently gets under my skin.

Chew

misdemeanor counts of simple battery and cruelty to children

http://youtu.be/n5p5nufi7EY

To capture what we should keep, start and stop ?…. Start, stop and keep doing so you and max are in a position to say you guys did a great job, I’ll take it from here.

This is kinda a debrief with coop.

you guys have all learned to tell us the truth the first time. through consequences, you discovered the consequences are far more severe than simply telling the truth the first time when asked. Or better yet, getting out in front of it before the question is asked. heck, i loved it the other day when michael found me and said,