Compulsion… an irresistible urge to behave in a certain way, especially against one’s conscious wishes.

“It was just one drink. It was just one toke. Cant remember if it was the thirteenth or fourteenth”, so said one author


Seems few things in life are just one thing and not combinations. But Yup the root cause is Genes. As in gene pool. Its a disease, sista☺

As far a triggers I’ve never relapsed and when i drank i drank and drugged solid for 22 years with no breaks.

I wasnt molested, i was loved by my parents unconditionally, i have great supportive friends, i was a successful athlete and while i struggled academically, life was a pretty good as in good time charlie.

But it all started at 18 when a mixed drink felt so good at making me not feel socially awkward….and coupled with my positive gene for substance abuse, i guess there you have my trigger…social anxiety

Boys in the boat

Such a great book — and such an unusual sport … definitely lots of pain, but Lyon says that that feeling of rowing in sync with your fellow oarsmen is surreally cool — and that when everything’s clicking, you feel like you’re flying!!