keys to a long marriage – karl pillemer

follow your heart when choosing a spouse

use your head – will they be financially responsible and a good parent?

look for someone with similar values


put your relationship first

lighten up on in-law relationships

stay out of debt

focus on small things to keep spark alive

enjoy intimacy

respect each other

talk, talk, talk

tread carefully when discussing difficult topics

most divisive issues facing our culture

open, dont narrow, passages.

why is it often framed as all or nothing, good or bad, win or lose, this or that?

frame it with “i’m struggling with”…..

in times like these splintered and partisan times, with many adopting an approach that is “unflagging in adherence” to an ideology, faith gets trampled.

Supporting an “allergic” teammate

Here’s a perspective shared from a conversation I had last night with KS.
JS, in the eyes of a medical person they have been talking to, is genetically predisposed to being “allergic” to alcohol (and any other addictive substance). Sounds benign but we’re not talking spring allergies but like some deathly allergic to a bee sting that will die if no epi-pen handy.
J has 5, male blood-relatives with substance abuse/addition problems. With this gene-pool trait, built into J’s DNA lies the same disease waiting to be awakened.
The medical experts opinion is that drinking prior to 25 years old puts J at tremendous risk of ending up like his dad, whose disease made him choose booze over his kids.
As you and your senior friends and teammates discuss whether to party or not during the X season (which in my mind has already started), think of J as a 17 year-old with a family history of substance abuse, alcoholism and addiction, not to mention an awful lot too lose with police, AD and college and a X career if he gets caught.

Matisse the cut-outs

Colors, shapes, sissors
Great pain, joyful art
The kitchen table…
Last night Susan and I went to see the movie/documentary on the new MoMA exhibit: Matisse The Cut-Outs. So much to say about it….the paper, paint and colors, the scissors and shapes and the incredible burst of creativity in his last 10 years…..the physical pain but beautiful art…..hard to describe the wonderful effect this presentation, this artist, his art, his narrated philosophy had on us in an empty theatre on a cold Tuesday night in Ohio.

One thing I can share, and Susan said on the drive home she knew what was going on during the movie, I felt the presence of your mom, Rachel. Even now the emotion overwhelms me as I sit here eating my lunch in a University of Akron parking lot with a freight train chuggin by.

Can’t really put into words the how or why…..but she showed up early and stayed with me through his breathtaking Chapelle du Rosaire de Vence. Love. Art. Nature. The kitchen table….

Left me peaceful and smiling through the tears:-)

Hopefully both of you’ll have a chance to catch the movie or visit Matisse and his cutouts at MoMA.